SPEAKER_01 0:00

If your thoughts become things, if you understand that your thoughts become things, always keep them positive, keep them spiritually elevated, and never ever think in negative terms. Our mind creates our reality. That is a fact. We know that quantum, the quantum, the quantum field is real. And if we know that our thoughts become things and that our mind creates our reality, why would you ever be negative?

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Our next guest is Mr. Jay Campbell, the founder of Bio Longevity Labs. Now, I thought we were going to talk about all the accomplishments, which are many, many accomplishments that this amazing human being has done. And it did, it went in a completely different direction. One of my favorite podcasts I have done ever. This guy is an open book. I've been following him for years, and he has just led by being unapologetically himself. He's built an empire, but more importantly, he has become someone that has really led, been a real positive male figure to so many. Um, about being accountable, about self-love and forgiveness to yourself about things that have happened, about being a father and really stepping up. All the things that I really love to talk about. I had no idea the podcast was going to go in that direction, and it did. And I tell you, this might be one of my favorite ones. Please welcome to the AJ Buckley Show, Mr. J. Campbell.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Welcome to the AJ Buckley Show. He's totally kidding unless you're serious. Let's get to the game.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Dude, I'm I'm super, like I said, super grateful to have you on the show. I've been following you for years and years and years. And I just, I really just love what you stand for, man. I I love I love how you and your wife and your team, and uh, you know, I I've got an amazing um wife, and I wouldn't be here without her, and she's such a partner. I feel the same about mine too, dude. But I just love how open about it, and you and you've just dominated and um and just you know, we need we need that there's so such a lack of that relationship strength, you know. Everybody with success, people start looking elsewhere, and they forget that that's that structure built them, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

They got it. Yeah, no doubt. No doubt. I think I think for me though, it it's almost um it's a it's a blessing and a curse because, dude, they keep deleting me, you know, like I'm so outspoken and I'm so like this is how you do it. Yeah, you know, and it's crazy too because I've paid a lot of money in the last two years to get my count back up on IG. Yeah, and dude, those guys are scammers too, you know, they're in on it with the meta people because you can pay them like 10 grand, 15 grand, 12 grand, Bitcoin, whatever. You get your count back, they take you down again, and then it's another scam to pay them again. Yeah, and so it's just like I'm over it, you know, and I'm almost I mean, I actually had, you know, obviously my company is killing it now, Bio Lindy Labs. And so we have really high-level legal counsel, but you know, somebody that's connected to our attorney sent me an email like four days ago and was like, hey man, look, I know you don't know me, but I'm really close to your attorney. You should listen to what I have to say. But he's like, someone like you, where you're going, what you're doing right now, you need to delete all your social media. He's like, because they're gonna start targeting people like you who are outspoken and transparent and authentic. And so, dude, at the end of June, I'm gone. I mean, I, you know, I've already consulted a team of tech people who are going to delete me like all my past content, you know, even off the Wayback Machine. Yeah. Uh, and then my team is going to build like anonymous Jay Campbell social media accounts, but they're not gonna have any followings, right? Because it's all my stuff from the last 15 years will go away. But it's crazy, dude. We're going into a very authoritarian world. Yeah, and people that are truth tellers and outspoken are really gonna be targeted. I hate saying that to tell you that. I mean, this is brand new stuff for me, but like I really like you, you know, I've got kids, I got a family. I I don't want to put anybody in any kind of weird harm's way, so I'm just gonna delete all my social media, dude. And honestly, I'll probably be better off not reading all that toxic at any.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Six months ago, something happened that completely changed my life. That was getting a ghost bed. The split king hybrid deluxe. This bed has absolutely changed the way I sleep at night. I couldn't sleep before between my back injuries from all the things that had happened to me on SEAL team and car accidents and just being a man. This bed has so many different things from zero gravity, has the ability to raise it up a little bit if you pass it reflux. This bed 100% will do wonders for your sleep. Go to ghostbed.com forward slash buckley, code word buckley, B U C K L E Y, and get yourself some beauty sleep. Three pillars of discipline: spirit, mind, body, in that order. That right there is the foundation of a company I started called Born of Discipline. It's incredibly important to me, this company incorporates my faith, the lessons I learned from my father on discipline, pain from regret, or pain from discipline is something my dad always said to me. And I've incorporated that into my life, and I want to share it with you. Go check it out at bornofdiscipline.com. It's like but what I liked about you, like you always are just open about working on yourself, you know. Like you always just have been like, hey man, this is what I'm working on. This is how I get better, these are the things that do it. And I think with men today, especially men, they're such especially in America, we're just so defeated. You just look at them, you know, and you're like, No testosterone, dude. No testosterone, no, you know, and you've just been so vocal about that of just like being a man and loving your wife and and just be doing those things. And um, you know, I I I I I always for me it's like on my journey, um, you know, you know, the last two years I've you know been very vocal about finding God again and and and my church and stuff. I w when my my dad passed away, I I I walked away from faith. I just I was so close to my father, and then losing him just made me angry at the world and I was drinking heavy and just I was everything that my father would not want me to be. And then moved moved to South Carolina and uh I ended up back at at church. My neighbor brought me to church and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And it just um I I have sort of these principles which you know, my dad um you always talk about discipline and stuff. Uh and my dad was someone that said you'd have pain from regret or pain from discipline. That was something that he informed me. And then through that and going back my faith, I was like, I was always like mind, body, spirit, but then I sort of fell into this thing where it's like spirit, mind, body. Like get your spirit, get and be anchored in your spirit, get your mind right, erase the doubt, and then your body will change. But if you don't get your head right and you're not anchored in something bigger, you're going nowhere. Like exactly. You're gonna keep saying Monday, I'll do it Monday, I'll do it Monday, Monday never comes.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

It's it's dude, your dad's so right. We could even talk about this on the podcast. I'll save it, but there was this just landmark study that was published literally two days ago. It was on Sunday when I was coming back, because I was in Vegas this week, or Monday when I was coming back, because I was in Vegas for a mastermind. And um, they it was 30 years of study of kids, or actually it was 40 years of study of babies to 40, and they mapped like I want to say over 700 kids, boys and girls, and what they did in life, and what and and and and we can talk about this, and no one has ever mapped this or seen this, but the number one characteristic that determines whether or not someone is going to be again, you know, obviously successful is a you know, subjective word, but whether or not you have self-control. So you could obviously equate it to self-discipline, but the delayed gratification, the ability to like delay reward is the number one determinant in success in life. And no one has ever mapped this out, like nobody in any of like the emotional quotient or emotional IQ, you know, mappers that they do all these things like any Enneagram and all these things, but like now they know that like if you have the ability to delay reward gratification, you know, satisfaction, that will determine how far you go in life. And if you think about that, that's literally what your dad was saying. That is self-discipline. Self-discipline is like saying, I don't need that extra drink, I don't need that candy, I don't need that movie, you know, I can do this or that or achieve this or that before I reward myself. And that was the number one qualification that determines success in life. And I've never seen that before. It kind of blew my mind. I sent that study, I'll send it to you after the show today. But uh it's really interesting to read that. But if you think about it, dude, that's literally life, right? Because if you're if you're dis if you're depressed, dysfunctional, metabolically dysregulated, you know, fat, insulin resistant, etc., it's because you cannot delay gratification. You know, you eat when you're hungry, you eat when you're emotional, you eat when like the first thought of doubt comes into your mind, you pick up a donut.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

And before we used to have like go hunt for it, we had to go work for it. Exactly, bro. You know, and that delayed, yeah, and you had to be it, you had to be in shape to go get your food.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

No, exactly. I mean, it's all part of modern conveniences and lifestyle, and obviously, you know, modernized living, because we have all these conveniences of where people don't have to do anything to get anything anymore. There's like, you know, an app for that. The kids can just push a button and have food. But it really is interesting to see because this goes back 40 years before tech, but it really is self-control. Yeah. And so I think that really is the most important thing. Like when you really start talking about mind, body, spirit, because truly, if you don't have the like call it intestinal fortitude to abstain, even when you like your body is screaming, feed me, or and it can be obviously anything. It doesn't have to be food, it could be sex, it could be dopamine signaling. There's so many things that you literally have to be disciplined over and self-control to be successful, to you know, to I guess delay reward or delay gratification. That's the number one, you know, um objective determinant into whether or not somebody will make it in life. And I really do think that you could probably equate that to being fat, to being fit, to being successful, to being, you know, saving your money, to being a good investor, all of it.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

It's all delaying reward. Yeah. And I think too, is like you if you looked at from like even stuff that I work on, is like my knee-jerk reaction is an emotional response. I want to get, but if I can take a beat, process it, and then objectively remove my emotion, and then and then one, like maybe look myself and go, what did I do wrong? Is this maybe me that that is the you know, where's but so many people in in the like they they go zero to sixty really quickly with exactly with their emotion. And I think that that in itself is your lack of discipline to to you you want to be heard, you gotta say you're as opposed to just like listening and be like, okay, maybe it was me, maybe it was, you know, maybe I'm the problem, maybe, and I think with things that I I all constantly work on myself is like, okay, how could in any situation, how could I how could I approach this better? Even when I feel like I'm a hundred percent right, it's like take a beat, pause for a second, let the dust settle a bit. Like even like you know, like the my mom would always be like, don't go to an angry bed. Don't go to bed angry with your partner, but but like also don't send like an email or response. Right, because you look at it later and you're like, especially with voice texting. Voice texting never gets me right, but if I'm angry insane, it's like you know, it there was one thing I I I I gone on this this this sort of four-day retreat uh with my church, and I hadn't done anything this ever in my life. Like I hadn't been out w away from my phone in four days, and I don't I don't know how long. And it took me probably to like the second day. There was no phones, no tech, nothing. We were just out in the woods. We did 36 miles in four days. And it was so crazy coming back down that mountain, driving, and I was like, I didn't want to turn on my phone because I knew it was gonna go ding ding ding ding ding ding. And it was like this this this it was pulling you back in. It's this vortex that's pulling you back into it. And when I was up in the mountain, I could hear I heard for the first time my own thoughts. I was like, oh my, like it, but it took like two days to I kept reaching for my phone for no reason. I was like, where's my phone? Oh like I other than saying goodnight to my kids that and my wife, that's all that I I really was like, oh, I wish I had that right now. But instead I wrote them letters. Um and but it was like it took that and then driving back down, I was like, oh, and I was like, I'm not gonna fall back into this up. But sure enough, within like a week or so, I was back into it. So then I started implementing this thing of like put my phone, get it away from the side of my bed, put either the other room or the other side if I need an alarm. And really trying to dedicate the first 30 minutes of the morning where I dictate the speed before I get into the world. Where it's like God's side, and some of the stuff I learned from from you, like grounding and sunlight, and like just get your feet in the ground and like you know, some of the water, like water in your face or cold, just to like go outside and like not look at your phone. Because you know how we are as soon as we get there, we see a comment and then fucking piss us off. Like, what then it's like I'm missing moments with my kids. I'm not present for this. For what? And it's a it's a really tough thing to do. But the times that I commit to it and really do that that 30, or even when I go for a walk now, I go with no phone and no music. Just be like, just to go, like just to hear it by myself, like and what happens is like, oh, then you actually like you can hear your thoughts supposed to like I again. I love listening to a podcast, I love walking it, but you you're not aware of what's going on. You're just on a journey, you're somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. I mean, there's a lot you said there to unpack. Um, so so for me, if I wherever I am in the world, I travel so much now, I'm so blessed to go and talk to people all over the world to speak, you know, to talk about my company. All these people are obviously wanting to bring peptides into their countries. I just came from Greece where I spoke in a mastermind.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

I love Greece.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

I love that. Dude, there's no one even in the entire country that you can't get peptides if you're in Greece. Imagine that, right? So it's like there's these billionaires in Greece that want to bring peptides in, you know, so they're they hire people like me to come and talk to them, et cetera. But like I just have an amazing life. But wherever I am, if I cannot get out into the sun, you know, or let's just call it nature, the open sky every single morning, my my day is not going to be as good, right? Because that energy of the sun, of nature, of earth, really its source, God, creation, force, whatever you want to call it, is what drives us, you know, energetically. It's the spirit, it lifts our spirit, it lifts our soul, you know, it lifts our energy field. And so it's like, it's such a depressing day for me if I can't get out into the morning um sun. But yeah, everything you said, like I said, there's so much that you said. Um, when we're by ourselves and we're alone, you know, I I like to tell people who you know really struggle to like become meditative or introspective or contemplative. And I say, like, you know, just go outside in your backyard. Hopefully, if you have a backyard, you know, if you're in New York City, it's tough.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

But if you have a backyard, go out in the backyard with your dog or your cat, if that's what you have, and just sit with them. And if your brain just won't get silent or still, you know, that obviously it's a learned practice. You have to do that kind of stuff. It's regularly. Yeah, every single day. But you could just focus on your dog's heartbeat, right? Like I tell people like, watch your dog's heartbeat or watch your dog's breath and watch how they snare or flare their nostrils and smell nature. Yeah. And just take everything in because a dog, a second density being, is literally ever present. And so, if we, you know, and again, any domesticated animal, really all animals are so instinctual, they're so present, you know, they're not distracted, they don't have a phone, they're not worried about so-and-so happening today or tomorrow. They're just always present, and that's why they wag their tail when they're around you, too, because they're completely enveloped in your presence. I've never thought about this. This is awesome. So if you're if you like understand this, this is the Hawkins map of consciousness, right? And he map consciousness from zero to a thousand, like a dog, when it's wagging its tail, is literally at the 540 level of consciousness, which is pure loving joy, right? It's unconditional love. And so it's like I always tell people if you're having a bad day and you have a dog, go home and just embrace your dog. Your dog will jump into your arms, wag its tail a million miles an hour, and literally share that loving, unconditional love energy with you. And that will change your energy field and bring you up and raise your frequency or your vibration. So these are little things that we can do. But if you just do that every single morning with your dog, and just for me, I sit in my backyard, uh, not really in a meditative stance, but in a very relaxed state, uh in a chair, and he comes up right next to me and we just take in the sun. Obviously, I'm blessed. I'm in Tampa, Florida, so I usually get sunny. Oh, dude, I was just in Tampa. I wasn't here. Next time I'm down there, I'll hit you up. We'll look me up, we'll hang. But um, I just sit there and I just look at him breathing, and I take in the sun. I don't have my phone, I don't have anything in my mind. I'm just like, I'm literally focused on his breaths. And I do that for 20 to 30 minutes, sometimes a little longer, sometimes a little shorter, depending on what's going on in the day. But dude, that centers me. And, you know, once you get beyond that, where you're really uh I call it, I'd say, you know, conversant or expert in doing that, then you can start thinking, you know, introspectively about your life or how you want to see your day, or you know, what you envision for the day. I think this is my opinion, but I think great creators see what they create before they create it because they first envision it, right? You know, if you if you want to achieve it, you have to first perceive it. And I I do think that most people that are really, really good at creating nonstop, and there's a lot of them on the planet today, uh, they see it and right, and and and you really have to have that perception in your mind's eye first of creating what it is that you ultimately create. But it's in those times, you know, whether it's in the morning, sometimes some people do it at night before they go to bed. You know, another great strategy is to keep a notebook by your bed.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

And, you know, write out everything that happened to you that day, good or bad. Some people who are really good at it just write out the bad stuff because in their mind they're like, you know what, I'm erasing the bad stuff that happened to me today, and I'm going to bed with a clean slate. And so tomorrow morning when I wake up, I'm going to wake up refreshed, anew, it's a new day, the sun comes up, etc. So whatever makes whatever works for you, but these are things, and I know you know this, but these are things, you know, for the audience that are non-negotiable. Because if you don't do these things, yeah, this and all of its inconveniences will literally sap all your life force energy and you'll just be a mess. And I think that's what most people are, bro. I mean, I let's be honest. I mean, today in society, social media has enveloped so many people. It's dumbing people down. You know, it's a it's it's a fact that we people have a Google IQ. You know, the average person between night, this is a statistical proven point since 1975 to now. The average person in the West, I won't say anywhere outside of the West, and that's obviously US, Canada, probably Latin America or Mexico, um, has an IQ 10 points below where it was in 1975. Now, AJ, how is that possible with all this technology and all this access to information? It's because people are not thinking, they're not doing the work as you talked about before. They're literally allowing this to think for them. Imagine the people that use AI to answer their questions, yeah, or to write their emails or to write their texts. Yeah. They're literally destroying the brain. The brain is like anything else, it's an organ. It becomes vestigial if you don't use it. So it becomes less used, it becomes dumber, it has less gray matter, less power, computational power. So that's literally where we are in society today. You've got a lot of people who don't even think. They use AI to think, and that is not good, dude.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Well, I I think you know what you said there too, because I I I do so I have this like like it's like like seven days of of discipline that I I sort of created for myself. If I if I'm like, if I if I need a breath and it doesn't like fix everything, but if I'm like, like you actually said something I never really thought about before. It's like when I have to be super creative, if I'm stressed or if I'm like too much if I can't calm my mind and just be still, like, and I'm gonna try this with my dog because I literally that's the coolest thing ever. But if I don't go out there and like just take a breath and like like I can't think straight. I can't get creative, and it blocks all my stuff. Some of the other stuff, like, but at night time, I'll like when I'm really doing like committed to like the seven-day discipline, it's like a reset from like it like pulls me back, it gets me back in control of all sort of digital things. So at night time, I'll uh an hour before bed, it's like all phone and technology, nothing. I'll read, I'll do a puzzle, or like chess with my kids, something, we'll go like whatever it is, but there's no there's nothing. And um get like uh red lights or like a red, like the red light glasses or stuff like that. I like those uh those those ones you're wearing. Those are those prescription too.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah, I've got no, I've got three different pairs. So this is raw optics, but they're very high end. Yeah, I have a pair of raw optics, those are great. Those are amazing. Yeah, and then I have these guys too. Um I forget their name, but I carry these. So these are the red. We these are nice flying for this is day.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Yeah, yeah. Um and they have the blue ones too, right? You see those blue ones?

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Yeah, I have those too. Those are in my backpack. So I when I'm traveling, like when I'm speaking to Dave Asprey tomorrow and I wear the blue when you're under the heavy lights during the day.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Yeah, yeah. Um but so the but I found like it's so interesting, like so many people have. I've lost like the ability to to to like grab a pen and write on a piece of paper. It's so crazy. And I'll do this thing like in the morning I'll write ten things that I'm grateful for and then I'll say it out loud. But then at nighttime I'll I'll look at like the things that I did what I wasn't able to accomplish in the seven days. I'll write those down. I'll write down why I thought I couldn't, and then I'll pick three things that I'm grateful for, and then as I'm going to bed, I'll just keep repeating those those three things. And that's sort of like been my routine to sort of get me back on things. And it really what it comes down to, dude, is literally just stepping away from the phone. That's just not falling asleep. Not, you know, you see those pictures where couples are in bed, and it's like, you know, one's on the phone, one's phone, and they're not even talking. Like we I've been there before, like we've been there before, and that's probably when my wife and I are most distant. Like there's just things going on, our life's happened, the kids, but then you're like, boom, you're here, and you're just you're you're missing so much. And I it's almost like they're creating these like just these sloth beams that are just like, ah wow, like just this can consumption consumption, consumption.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

It's if you want me to put my tinfoil hat on over there, I have my dude. I love your tinfoil. I literally, there's a guy in the UK, I swear to God, he runs a company called tinfoil hat.co.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

And he used to watch my podcast. And he I he sent me like one day out of the blue, they landed in my house. I don't even know he got my address. Um, must have asked somebody that knew me, but uh once I got him, I opened up, he had a note in the thing, you know, and he was like, hey man, I watch all your podcasts. He's like, I actually make tinfoil hats. He's like, I would love it if you win them. So I keep them over there. So if I ever want to go super deep and talk about what's really happening, we can put those on. But dude, I'm serious, man. Like at this point, I don't think it's debatable that they're not creating people like this. Now, the good news is we still have a choice.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Right? You and I, everyone, truthfully, has a choice of where we place our consciousness. We can place our consciousness down here, you know, and be a victim in the red root vibration and blame everybody else and say, you know, we, you know, we our daddy, mom was dad, mom didn't love us enough, or we were poor, whatever bullshit we come up with. Or we say, you know what, I'm accountable, I'm responsible. Yeah, it's on me. I choose to take ownership of my sovereign reality. And so it's a choice. Everybody has a choice. And honestly, if you don't choose today to guard your energy field, to eat healthy, to exercise, to mitigate EMF, to do all the things that you and I have talked about about creating stillness in your life. Dude, you're so wrecked. I got I got my little EMS thing. Yeah, of course. I mean, you're gonna be a wreck. I mean, you have to be proactive and conscious. I mean, look, what you're what you're wearing right now, just three years ago, people would have thought you were insane.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

You know, and obviously, you know, I've been talking about this for a decade. Forever.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

So it's like now most people like us are like, yeah, we gotta do this. It's not, it's not negotiable. But bro, there's still so many people that are utterly clueless. Yeah. You know? I mean, it's insane.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

As we get older, it is so important to stay on top of our blood work. That's why I'm incredibly proud to have Pure RX, one of our sponsors of the show. Go to AJ.purex.co, type in time to shine in the notes, and you'll get 50% off your blood work. It's summertime. You want to go camp and you want to go off-road and get your truck, a lift kit. Go to total off-road. TJ and Dan are my guys here in Charleston. They're the best. Huge thank you to them for being sponsors of the show. You got a Pavin Princess, head to Total Off-Road, get your truck lifted like a real man. But before like all like the books and and the brand, like, who who was Jay? Like, were you were you always the guy that people came to or did you have to earn that? Like, how, like, who were you before all of this?

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah, it's a great question. So I'm the oldest of nine kids. My mom gave birth to ten. Whoa. You are. And that one, yeah, yeah, yeah. Irish Catholic. And me too. Uh just like you, yeah. And and um, that's why we're so similar, bro. And uh it's genetic, it's DNA. No, but my mom and dad, my mom gave birth to 10 boys or 10 kids, six, seven boys and three girls. And the first one died. His name was Christopher J. And so I came out like a year later. He died of SIDS, which is now we know sudden infant death syndrome is actually vaccine-related death. They just hit it and covered it up. And so I came out like 16 months later. My mom and dad got pregnant. I came out later, and they named me Jay Christopher in honor of him. And um, you know, all my life, dude, I've been in, I was an athlete. I've always been an achiever, you know, a go-getter, uh, you know, like a hard charger, but definitely I was not this aware spiritual uh connected until really my 40s. And it was because of my wife, you know, who really taught me the value of you know working and going within and working on my inner game and you know all the things that I talk about and stuff now. But that wasn't it, that really didn't happen until I was technically 41 years old, 42. We really met at full end of my 41st year. And once I turned 42, she really took coached me into you know, really working on my spirituality. And you know, since then I'm obviously 55 now, it's been 13, 14 years we've been together. Uh, and I've really looked into this. But I will tell you this, I've always been a seeker. You know, when I was when I was six years old, my dad chased me out of the back of a Catholic church, and he was like, Where are you going? And I was like, away from that cult. You know what I mean? So it's like, so it's like I always knew that there was something not we weren't really learning here, or we weren't being told. And, you know, obviously I'm a very spiritual person, you know, I believe in God and all that stuff, but it's like I also believe that you know, that there the likelihood that we probably do live many lives to learn our lessons, so to speak, is probably pretty good. I mean, I obviously I can't prove that. I don't know anything about it.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

There's that book uh Many Lives, Many Masters. That's that's a trip me out.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Dude, it's amazing. So there's literally thousands of books about people writing about reincarnation. And obviously, here's the other thing, dude. Like when you really look at it from a big picture, 74% of the world believes in reincarnation as a religion, right? So so there's probably a lot of truth to it, but at the same time, there's no way to prove anything. But you know, I do a lot of deep, deep, you know, work, meditation. I've done plant medicine, I've done a lot of things where I've done ayahuasca. I've done I've never done ayahuasca, but I've done five MEO DMT 11 times, right? So how is that? It's incredible, bro. I mean, I mean, like the the truth is is that once a person does a shamanic, you know, hopefully in a sacred space with it with a in a ceremony, you know, just call it a ceremonial situation uh with a really accomplished shaman and you use five meo, it's like a it's like the best way to say it is like you're blasted into the source field in five seconds, right? So you instantly know, again, the way I phrase it is what source consciousness is, what God is. And it's what is energy, what does source consciousness mean? So source consciousness is essentially like being in access to what we know as God. Okay, it's like literally being in the field of divinity, and so you are literally around divine energy, you sense what God is. It's just pure love, dude. I don't know how to there's there's not a lot of words for it. I wrote I did try to write a blog about it back in 2019, uh, which I think did a really good job. They it's it's put on Arrowid. You know, Arrowed is like the big database for people uh to find out about uh plant medicines and journeys and all that kind of stuff. So it's a really good article, but it's very difficult to explain it. You know, I I can tell you what I know for sure what God isn't, and God is definitely not a person sitting on a chalice with a gold trident with a robe and a beard judging us. Like that's definitely not what God is. And I think a lot of people, you know, depending on what spirituality or religious doctrine they grow up in, you know, think of that. And I think a lot of people unfortunately uh have this bad image of like they're a sinner or they're being, you know, uh how they're being uh what do you call it? They're they're damned because they're a human. And it's none of that's true. I mean, that's just to keep us in fear, but the truth is that you know, my experience of that, and I think anyone, most people, if you talk to them who've done that, will say something similar, is that you just understand what we all are. And I can definitely assure you that all of us, all life is connected. It's all interconnected. The animals are connected to us, the plants are connected to us. Uh, there are clearly higher order beings, if you want to call them angels or archangels, or you know, I think the dark the dark side is the prince, the principalities and the thrones and all that stuff that's in the Bible. I mean, there's clearly this giant ecosystem of life, and all of it we're connected to. And I think once you kind of get aware of that, you know, you're connected to the bad guys and the good guys, and you're connected to the lower life forms and the higher life forms, you understand that like if we're all connected and we're all conscious and we're all sentient, then why would I want to live in negativity? Yeah. Why would I want to live in blame, or why would I want to live in shame, or why would I want to live in, you know, again, any kind of negative thought processes? And so, like, once you understand that, and my first experience doing it was in 42, right before I met my wife. It was right before I met my wife, was the first time that I did it. And I really honestly can say that my life has been like this since I did that.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Do you feel do you feel like that moment opened your eyes to see your wife?

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Um, no. Um, I mean, I think it opened my eyes to being able to vibrate her into my life. Oh, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Yeah, like being able to 100%.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

100% because every time that I've done it since then is not because I'm chasing it to be high, you know, to experience what it feels like. And by the way, it's not high. I think I say that because people imagine it to be like that, but it's just a you just raise your frequency, you know, and you're raising your energy field with obviously the use of the of the entheogen. Uh, you know, in the case of 5MEO, it's like toad venom, you know, it's called bufo. But the but the truth is is that um since I did that, I've done more to initiate other people to use it, right? Because like I want to make sure that if people want to do it with me or around me, that I can show them that I can do it before they do so they can feel more comfortable when they do it. Because obviously some people have apprehension over it. Of course. But it's an it dude, it's an amazing experience. I just always tell people if you're gonna do it, don't go into it with fear because it will always give you what you're currently vibrating, right? So you want to go into it completely, you know, allowing and accepting of whatever happens to you and don't have expectations of wanting something. So it's like you're gonna get what you need relative to your life experience at that moment in time, but don't go in saying, oh, I want to learn this, or you know, I want this to happen, because then sometimes you can get the opposite, right? Because you're always gonna get what you feel, which is what your vibrational frequency is. So if you're in fear, you might be shown a fear experience. But if you're not in fear and you're just like an open acceptance and allowance, you'll probably get something amazing. And most people that do it, dude, you know, come back and say, Holy shit, like it changed my life.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah. And I I think too, I think too, what what believe me, like a lot of the veterans and the special operators that I worked with on the show, they'd all done some type of thing or during the show on and off season, they'd be like, Hey, I've got to go do this. And it is crazy. Like when guys would come back for war, they all have this sort of look in their pupils. Like it's like Sonics, they all have a hundred-yard stare. Yeah, exactly. And then when they come back from the ayahuasca or the Ibegaan, it's like they have light back in their face. It's it's it's like it noticeable. Like it is, and and they all talk about, they all draw and describe the same thing independently. People that they've never like and that's where I was like, this is and it's all this that that feeling, and they can they they they can't quite put to words what the love feels like. Yeah, it's so like they get emotional talking about it, they're just like it's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

So what happens is and I've watched, you know, like three or four of those documentaries on Netflix about the you know, the seals that go and do it, especially the one that came out last year was amazing. But they shed their yeah, exactly. They they they shed so much trauma because as you know, dude, they've seen horrific atrocities. They've seen guys with their arms blown off, their heads blown off, their buddies, they've seen incredible violence, they've killed multiple people. I mean, every time you kill another being, it's a life, yeah. It takes a toll on your soul. You know what I mean? Like, even if you don't hold you don't think about it and you just move on, you're like, it was my job, it still takes a toll on your soul. So all that stuff when you do these plant ceremonies is shed because these things have this amazing ability to basically you know uplift your conscious frequency and then let you know that it's okay and to just drop it. And that somehow it has this magical call healing property of just being able to shed the trauma. And so those guys come back healed out of soul level for what they've you know probably labeled as atrocities because they had to do them.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Yeah, and a lot of them just is like they they acknowledged what they did, they forgave themselves, they forgave and they they let it go, they let it go. They kind of what you said at the beginning, it's like what it what what is it that I did? And I think anything like I I've had some some things happen to me when I was younger, and it wasn't until I I sort of really started looking inward. I was holding on to this with such anger, but I had to let it go. I had to forgive the situation, and until I did that, it was living rent-free in my fucking brain. Exactly. But the second I said I forgive, I it was gone. It like it literally, I felt it fucking package shit up and leave. And I haven't thought, like, it doesn't bother me. I feel like a fucking weight was lifted off my chest. Yeah. And that was just something that I just had to acknowledge and be like, why am I what am I holding this bullshit on for? You know, and and and within that, like there's still things that I have to do to to to to to to work on, but the that that you know when you um you know when you're dog piled and you're like, oh, and you can't, it's like you can't feel like you can breathe properly, but that's just what it felt like that for fucking years. And as soon as I was like, I'm I forgive this, I forgive me, I forgive everything. I'm I'm I don't hold want to hold on to this.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Yeah, that's the key. The key is, and I learned this from my wife, the key for and this is where people get confused. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for you. 100%. That's what I realized. That's tripped me out. I was like, this is for me, right? It's not for them. Yeah, I know exactly like alpha male men are traditionally taught that if somebody fucks you, you're like, motherfucker, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna hold on to this. I mean, I know so many people who are just not aware consciously yet. Because I always say this, and this is important. Everybody is walking the same path back to God. Everyone, 100%. But some of us walk faster than others, and no rate of speed is better than another, right? So no matter where anyone is, you have to meet them where they are. And so I always say that like if they're still in that frequency of not forgiving, yeah, and not understanding what you and I understand, which it's not for them, it's for us. You just let them go. You don't get into arguments with them, you don't debate them. You just, hey man, you're I respect where you are in your journey. I wish you well. Exactly. And then you move on. And that is so important because, dude, getting mixed up in those people's frequencies, which again, their frequencies are, you know, right here in the orange, right? They're like anger, you know, antagonistic, vengeful. Vengeful is a good word, right? They're still vengeful over what happened to them or what they perceive happened to them, and it's like, okay, that's fine, dude, but I'm not there and I'm gonna move on. And I and I wish you well. But once you do realize that forgiveness is for you, you really can't sit in any kind of like you know, shame or humiliation or anger or just regret anymore because they're looking at God.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

It's the shame, it's the shame too. Of course, it's that makes you fucking just you're like, oh, I'm fucking hungry. You know, and then you have this, you replay that this tape just plays over. Like, when I see that, I'm gonna say this, and I'll and it's like, and you're like, what the fuck? What are you why what are you doing? You're not gonna say shit.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Like, yeah, I work with a I work with a really high-level spiritual coach, and so does my wife. And we both are working with this woman, and she's in Northern California, and she's amazing. I can't tell you anything about her. She's literally like, she works with like you know, super A-list, very, very high-level achiever stuff. And we got recommended to her from another person, and you have to get vetted, you know, you have to do a couple couple months worth of stuff with her before she takes you on, and so we were blessed to do some really deep work with her, and you know, in going through you know, the things that are limiting us, because look, I can talk about this like all of us are spiritually stunted from things that happened early to us in life, right? So whether it's like again, our mom and dad didn't love us enough, our mom and dad were you know vicious to each other and were antagonistic to each other. And you know, in my case, my mom and dad were fought like cats and dogs. My dad was like a dictator, and again, everyone, you know, you, I'm sure everyone that's listening to this could all have stories about their parents, but like it's dealing with that. Yeah, it's like going, understanding like you're almost it's not hypnosis, it's close to it, but it's going back into the feelings, like she calls it word, thought, feeling, emotion. Word, feel like that's a good thing. And once you once you understand that, word, thought, feeling, emotion, and then getting into that remembrance of that moment that stuck you or that created your emotional disablement, and then you get into it, and then you have to what she calls stalk your feelings. And when you stalk your feelings, you have to write it all out. So you dude, you have to be able to, and so few people can do this, but you have to be able to go back to when you were six, eight, ten, fourteen, whatever, twenty, and literally write everything down that you're tapping into that again, that remembrance. That's scary, bro. It's the hardest work that I've ever done in my life. And we just started working with this woman in December, but it's the most, it's the most gratifying. You can't imagine how much more my life is exploding. And she told us this. She was like, Look, dude, if you guys do this work, this is back in December. She's like, it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life, but it's also going to be the most rewarding. You have to trust me. And, you know, we're now six months in. And dude, there's been times where I wanted to get a divorce with my wife after, you know, I got off the call. It's only an hour a week, but I I literally was so ashamed of things that I did, and so ashamed of things that I've said that I just went up to her and cried and apologized and said, like, if you don't want to be in a relationship with me because of how bad of a person I've been or what I've done or any of this stuff, it's okay. You know, I understand it. So, and she's not there, and you know, that's just me being shameful and feeling shame and and and releasing it. But it's incredible this kind of work when people can do this. And again, dude, all I can say is all of this, you, me, every person listening to this, we all have these situations. We all have these things that happened to us when we were babies, yeah, we came out of the womb, you know, and it can be anything, dude. It can be getting into a fight with our dad, it can be verbally humiliation, it could be sexual, you know, uh, it could be rape, trauma, incest, beating up, violence. There's so many every little things, but it's being able to look in the mirror and face them and writing out the feelings, and then understanding, yeah, and then understanding that you are not that she calls them ego impostors. We become these ego impostors that get inserted into us from these events, and then we live those every, you know, like you saying earlier, rent-free in our head. We live those ego impostors in our mind, and it becomes who we're not, but it it replaces our true, authentic, you know, selves. So it's like once you can identify every single ego imposter you have, and again, stalk your feelings about it, and then create a positive affirmation, overcoming it. And it takes a couple of years of work for most people. Some people can probably do it in a year, but like she's like, dude, you'll have everything you want. Money, you'll have freedom, you'll have peace. Well, it goes back to what you were just saying at the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

You're you're taking away all these layers of of noise to get to what your your most creative spot. That dude, that's so crazy. Like that's you're just like, and and you probably through this work, which freaked me out, it's like I had things like in a back room upstairs to the right, in an attic, like that was I was like, whoa, I opened that and I'm like, I did forgot about that, and I'm keeping that door shut. I was like, where did that come from? That that stuff where like is it's way back in your maze of a mind, which always just it's like where, and then I'm like, I don't even know how I got to that room. I don't know the route I took, but that just like that, like like I got so freaked out one day. I was like, I have not thought about that ever. And I clearly remember very things, I was like, oh, and I was terrified to to go and and and go back to it was like a nightmare, you know, like those dreams where you you can't run or you're frozen, and you're just like you're like it felt like that. I was like, oh, it was I was back, I was right back there to what happened, and it freaked me out. But I didn't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

You were stalking your feelings, and honestly, when you learned to do this, AJ, I'm not joking, and it's taken me five months. Yeah, you know, I can do this now, but dude, everything you're saying is is is so true. We compartmentalize these thoughts and we compartmentalize these moments and these emotions, and we don't realize they become ego, like she again, she calls them ego impostors, but they're basically not real AJ's and Js, and they get triggered and activated at various times in our life. And when you learn to stalk them and then overcome them, dude, it's the hardest work ever. I mean, the some So for my thing was my dad yelled at all of his kids and he yelled at my mom. And so it's like one of the big things that I had was that I would get loud when I would get mad, you know. And so I have to like stalk my feelings. This is one of my first biggest triggers. And I remember trying to think about it. And dude, it wouldn't even let me think about it. Like I would sit there and I would just be as smart as I am, as creative as I am, I would just be stonewalled. Wow. And so I had to really focus and connect to it. And dude, to connect to it, I had to cry. Yeah. I had to literally like tap into those deepest, darkest, like you were saying, the deepest, darkest roots. Like, like you said, the bait, the the attic compartment locked in a cabinet. You know what I mean? And and and you once you tap into them, dude, then the emotion just flows out of you, and you're like, holy shit, I don't even know how I was like that. I mean, and then it hits you, and you're like, wait a minute, this isn't even me.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Do you think that that like I was thinking, actually thinking about the that this the other day, do you think that it's back in that room? Like we we did that as a safety, like why did it exactly it was a safety mechanism, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

So we just did we just place our mind. Exactly. We we stored it away, like you said, in a locker. We took the key, we threw it away because it was so we were so vulnerable and it it disturbed us so much that we just did not want to address those feelings. And I'm telling you, I know this now from doing this work, you do, other people listening, I'm sure do too. It's the most rewarding work you can do because this is what allows you to live a level 10 life because we all have latent trauma. The trauma is what creates the ego imposters. And if you don't integrate and deal with the trauma, it eventually will just envelop you. And I think a lot of people, you know, who don't do this work, which is the majority. I mean, thankfully, a lot of people like us talk about this now, and so it encourages people to do it. But men and men just don't talk about it. Men just don't talk about it. They never do. If you don't do this work, though, bro, as you know, in your 70s and you live and you're blessed to live into your 70s and 80s, you'll be a broken person. I mean, I look at my dad and I love my dad, but my dad is 80 years old, and he has never in his entire life done one ounce of internal work. He is a multimillionaire. My mom died three years ago of COVID. You know, she was morbidly obese, but she died of COVID, you know, whatever you want to call that. And now he's by himself and he's 80, and he's, you know, again, by all records, he's very successful. He did very well for himself in his life. He raised nine kids uh and he retired a multimillionaire and he still manages his own money. He's 80, he does everything himself, and but he has zero introspective, you know, curiosity. He has no connection, like I say, to God or source. You know, he's a Catholic, he goes to church on Sundays, but you know, he just goes through the motions. But like when I when I attempt to talk to him about these kind of things, he has absolutely no desire. He doesn't want to touch it. And I see a very mortally wounded man, you know, who's got so much trauma, you know, who lived in a life uh he was in a marriage with my mom, it was toxic. I mean, dude, all of it, all of his kids know. Like we talk about this amongst ourselves. But like I look at him and I'm like, I don't feel sorry for him because this is the ch life that he's chosen. But yeah, if you don't do this work, you'll end up like my dad. It's as simple as that. You will literally end up like my dad. You'll be by yourself, you know, if you're lucky enough to live in your 80s, uh, your kids won't really want to come back and hang out with you because you're like, that's the biggest nightmare.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Like, that's I love being I love like I had such a great relationship with with my father, and and I was I I realized as I got older, like that that was rare. Like that was a very rare like him and I are best friends and and it was I was I just lucked out. But I I Well he probably did a good job as a dad. He probably did a good job as a dad. Oh man, Jay. He was just a he was just uh he was the most selfless person. He worked, you know, we didn't grow up with money. He worked like five jobs. He he he we never went without though. I never I was I was rich in family and and and moments. I actually don't remember him not being there with all the jobs that he was just always there, like didn't miss a soccer game, didn't he like he just awesome? He was just a he was just a great guy.

SPEAKER_01 48:05

My dad was not. My dad was not, and you know, dude, I'm so glad that you're talking about that because my coach says the only way that a parent can when they get into that age in their life to recognize whether they have a rewarding life or not is whether their kids still like them. Swear to God, she says no amount of money, no amount of material things, no amount of accomplishments, it's true, no amount of fucking stars on the wall or stars on the floor. The only thing that matters is if your kids like you. If your kids like you, it means that you did a good job as a parent. Because again, you know there's no book on parenting.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

No, and that's that's the other thing was my realization. So it was like, do you know, with this group of guys that uh uh uh we have this sort of men's group. I had this realization, I was like, oh shit, as even these guys who are just absolute ass ass kickers, they're fucking crushing it financially, you know, buying buildings and all this stuff. And then I saw it, I'm like, hold on. So you're winging it too. You're just trying to you're just trying to figure it out as well. Like you're as confused as I am about being a parent. And they're like, I'm terrified. I'm like, holy, like, so you're scared too? I'm like, I'm terrified because I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to, yeah, I want to put my best foot, and I'm a flawed man. But I I'm like, and when I saw that other dudes who I looked at, I'm like, how are they just got it together? And they're like, I don't, bro. I am and it did, and and and it was like more money, more problems. Like it was, it didn't, but but because they and then they were like, when they realized that, they're like, I gotta I gotta fix what's inside here because I'm not enjoying any of this. And one of the guys was like, My kids are going to hate me when they're older. And he goes, That's killing me inside. And I was like, dude, that's my biggest fear. I just, you know, and I feel like I'm doing a good job, but that's like, you know, we'll have moments where you yell or do anything like that. And I'm just like, oh man, like that that's the number one way they keep the number one way to make sure your kids like you.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

And and and what and and before this coach, you know, I've worked with other coaches and other spiritual gurus and stuff like that. But like the one thing I learned, and this is probably good for you because you still have younger kids, right? How old are your kids now? My twins are eight and my daughter's twelve. Okay, so this is really great for you. So when when my ex not when when my ex and I got divorced, which was in 2011, I met my current wife Monica in 2012, and Monica was coming out of a divorce, and I was out of my divorce, and she had three kids, and I had two kids, and so we raised essentially four and a half because one of the kids was too old. But this is what a a a counselor told both of us. This is really amazing advice. She said, uh, and I had to go to this because obviously the courts were mandating that both Monica and I, as when we came together as a couple with kids from previous marriages, we had to like, you know, do this court-ordered um, you know, parenting or counseling or whatever. So we only had to go to this like five times, but this woman told us, I'll never forget this. She said, the only thing that a parent is responsible to do is clothe, feed, shelter, and teach your children self-discipline. Remember what we talked about at the very beginning of the show, self-control. She had no idea about that study. This is literally in 2012. And it was very important for me to learn that. And that's if we do that, our kids might like us. As you know, many parents fuck up because they try to be friends to their kids. They try to be friends.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

If you do that, you're done because your kid doesn't want friendship from you, they want leadership. My dad said, I'm not your friend, son, I'm your dad. And I was like, Exactly, dude.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

So you obviously had an amazing guy. And he was a very blessed man.

SPEAKER_02 51:50

And I was like, I don't understand what he's like. He's like, son, I'm not your friend. I am your dad. My job is to be your dad. And I'm like, isn't that the same thing? He's like, it's not. And I'm like, and it used to fucking crush me. I'm like, what are you saying, Pops? No, you weren't smart enough. You were just a kid. You were understanding what he said. And now I'm saying that to my and my my boys will look at me and I'm like, dude, I you don't understand. I love you more than every ounce of being of on this earth. Yeah, I love you more than you can even understand why. Comprehend. And that, and I I think what really changed my life too is like I understood my dad more when I met my kids. I was like, ah, now I like he'd already passed, he never met my kids. So when I met my kids, I was like, oh, I get why he worked the way that he, I get why things, you know, what what had brought him joy. I go through like the photo album, and my dad will be smiling, it often pictures in the back, just looking at the family, and he just has a smile. And it's not like he's looking at us having fun, and he's just sitting there smiling. He's like, This is and that's before phones and all the shit back then. You know, that's like someone was like, wouldn't it be cool to go back to like the the 80s and the 90s, like where it was like there was nothing? I'm like, yeah. I was like, I forgot, like, you know, we'd we'd you'd know where your friends were because your BMX bikes were parked somewhere, or like, you know, you'd you would just go, my mom would be like, as long as you're home by like the street lights come on, you know, you that's when you would you would come back. But like there was like now my kids go out. I'm like, you know, we lived in South Carolina and and up they'll go play and stuff, but the thought of like them just going off for five hours into the woods, I'm just like, oh, it's yeah, you just naturally, but that was part of being a kid. Like, go get dirty, like eat dirt, eat sticks, like you don't need sanitizer.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Like just like parents never, I remember that's funny you talk about that. Um, my parents never watched me. But I want to go back to the talking about the dad thing because nobody's ever talked about this on a podcast with me. This is awesome. But um so so what she said was it really rung, it really resonated with me at that point in my life because I was really just starting my spiritual quest, and I, you know, I didn't understand any of that like relative to my mom and dad. But then I started thinking about it and I was like, okay, well, truthfully, even though my mom and dad fought like cats and dogs. I mean, dude, true story. My mom, so I was the oldest, right? And I was always trying to break up my mom and dad. They were always fighting, they were always bickering, they were always screaming at each other. And I would be the guy that was like playing the diplomat or the mediator, and then the caretaker, probably today. Yeah, the reconciliator. I was always attempting to fix them because I wanted them to live you know happily ever after, which obviously as a kid, you don't you know you can't do any of that. But I remember literally in between my mom and dad fighting, and my mom stabbed my dad in the shoulder with a steak knife. Literally. Oh, whoa. And I was like seven, and I didn't understand any of this. I was so young. But like I started thinking about okay, now I'm 42 in my life when I have this counselor talking to me and Monica, and me and Monica are in the very beginning of our relationship, and we're like six months in. And I started thinking about like, okay, did my dad and my mom do that? Did they feed us? Did they clothe us? Did they put a shelter over our head? And they did. Yeah. So it gave me a much greater appreciation. My dad was like your dad, and that we never wanted. I mean, dude, I'm not joking. Like, we were poor. Like I tell people this like my dad, you know, he had nine mouths to feed. He would wait. That is I can't even imagine that. That's crazy. Dude, he would wait until everyone ate, and then he would literally go around the table and scrape off the food blessed from everybody's plate onto his plate to eat, right? So, you know, in that regard, seeing the perspective of this counselor telling me what a good parent was, I was like, okay, this gives me a newfound perspective and appreciation of my parents because they did do all those things. What they didn't do was have a productive relationship. And then the other thing they didn't do, and again, I don't hold this against them. This was the greatest thing ever for my relationship with my mom and dad because I really started to see things differently, but they didn't know how to tell their kids they love them. They would say it, but they didn't mean it because here's the most important thing for probably in this entire podcast, and you know this because you've done work, is if you don't love and trust yourself, you can't love anybody else. 100%. So think about how powerful that is. If you're telling your kids or your friends or your wife or whatever that you, yeah, I love you, honey, but you don't love yourself. And again, loving yourself is doing work on yourself, looking in the mirror, looking in your eyes, saying, I love me, some AJ Buckley, I love me some Jake Campbell, whatever. There's lots of ways to do it, affirmation practices. But until you learn to love and trust yourself, you don't know how to love anyone else. And so that was my mom and dad's biggest issue is that you know, there was also infidelity and all that shit, and you know, that went on. But until you can do love and work on yourself, and again, literally learn to love and trust yourself, you can't love other people. And so I look at, and again, my mom's gone now, but I look at my dad and I'm like, he's 80 years old now, and he's never been able to truly love his kids or his wife or even you know anyone because he never learned how to love himself, and he's not willing to do the work. And and listen, if you're an older person right now and you're listening to this podcast at some point, you can you can absolutely start learning to love yourself at any age. But you get you, it's what we've been saying. You have to do the work on yourself. And sure, you can love your kids in the way that you think you're loving them, but dude, like I remember hugging my dad, and he would just be lifeless.

SPEAKER_00 57:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:29

It would never be like a grab back and embrace the heart, and you know, you know, the kid when you really hug it out, when you bro it out, you love someone, you literally feel that I'm a hugger. You feel that life, yeah, me too. Of course.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

And I do this with my kids, and I do this with everybody that I is in my close circle. I'll do it with you when I meet you. But like my dad never understood how to do that.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

And did he come from a baker?

SPEAKER_01 57:52

I didn't even know how to do it either.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

Did your dad come from that? Did he not get that from his father?

SPEAKER_01 57:57

Oh, absolutely. His parents were depression era, scarcity mindset, lack, you know, yeah, it's such a different thing, too.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

And I feel like like you're like a guy that's breaking the cycle then of that being the eldest of that, which is the kind of a really great feeling.

SPEAKER_01 58:14

You just said that. Because when I did my first plant medicine, when I did my MEO experience back in 2011, right six months before I met Monica, um, dude, I didn't even know what I was doing. I was dragged in there by a couple friends. I didn't know anything about plant medicine, but I knew that I was at a very low point in my life. I had just gotten divorced. I was coming out of the I was at the lowest point of my life. And uh at least I my perception at that point was the lowest point of my life. And dude, I did it and I cried the whole ceremony. There was eight other people in the ceremony. Uh it was in a home, which was you know not the best place to do it, in North Hollywood Hills. This is when I was in SoCal. And dude, I came out, and my all I remember of this the I mean, I remember lots of insanity fractals and stuff, but my whole shirt was soaking wet. And when I came out, you know, I felt that I was like, I felt like I was swimming in a lake, and then I looked around and everyone was crying and they were sobbing. And then they all came up to me and they were hugging me and they were saying, brother, that was amazing. And I had no idea why they were crying. And then the shaman, when the ceremony was over, came up to me and told me. He was like, I think you just shed ancestral trauma.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

He's like, I think you literally shed the trauma of your forefathers. And so the fact that you just said that, dude, that's probably what I'm doing. This is part of my life journey now.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

Yeah, that's your purpose, man.

SPEAKER_01 59:40

Yeah, dude. Literally getting rid of all this trauma from my forefathers, my father, maybe. But dude, I didn't know that. And and honestly, and I didn't learn any of that. Even when he told me that I was in resistance to it, I was like, okay, cool, bro. You know, I was nice and stuff too, I'm respectful. But it wasn't until like six or seven, eight years later when I really started learning about this stuff that I realized that, you know, ancestral trauma is a big thing. Yeah. And so it's very possible that that is exactly what's happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

I a hundred percent think that. And then look at that of like going back to what we're saying, like now breaking that now. Your kids have a fresh seed to plant. You know, my mom, um, she my mom was a uh a psychologist, child she did a lot of uh child therapy, and and um she would always say, like, if you can if you can get to like there's apples and there's onions, and she'd say if you can get to the core of an apple, and you can as bruised as and and broken as the apple might be, you find that core, you plant that seed again, water it and take care of it, it will grow back. And it then it'll give many more uh branches of fruit and it'd be a fruit-bearing tree. It's like, but if you if you if you don't deal with your stuff, it you become an onion. The more you peel, the more you cry. There's no core anymore. And you just keep peep peeling back and peeling back and peeling back. And she actually, while I was go, I I I'd been in and out of these really toxic relationships. Um this is be just it was probably kind of like the same sort of thing how you met, like I I went through kept getting in these crazy relationships, and I was just toxic. And um my mom used she was my mom's just like a little uh Buddha. She always with these little gems, smart little Irish woman. And uh after a few shots of tequila, she's did she just gems. And and she was like, AJ, she goes, you know, she goes, You're traveling a lot and you're you're being taught something every time you travel, but uh you're not paying attention. And I was like, What's that, mom? She's like, Well, you keep you keep searching for people that you're trying to fix, like you're trying you're trying to and you're not taking care of yourself. And until you do that, she goes, the next time you're on a plane, do me a favor. She's like, when they're giving the pre-flight thing, listen to what they say. I'm like, what do they say? She goes, When the oxygen comes down, exactly, dude, put the max on first, help yourself before you can help any. And she goes, When I when I first heard that on a plane, she's like, There's no way if something happens, I'm not gonna help you first. And they were like, No, you have to, because if you don't have air in your lungs, you're not gonna be able to help it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:23

100%, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

And I was like, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:26

And so is learning to love and trust yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

And that, and then I was like, and so then when I started, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna focus on that's when I met my wife. Was closely after that. It was like, because I started to, like you said, how you said with like with the vibration of going like, okay, this is I can understand who who I am a little bit more to when I meet that person, it's gonna be like, oh, I see, I can see you now, like before you didn't, you were, you know, um, which is crazy. I quite question for you like who is who's your North Star in your life?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

For sure, my wife. Yeah, um, you know, right right below that would be my two daughters.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:03

Um how old are your daughters now?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:06

Um my daughter, my the oldest is 18. The oldest is 18, and she's actually graduating high school tomorrow. And that's why I'm able to do this podcast with you today because I want to otherwise be at the Dave Asprey conference where we have a booth and all that stuff. But uh so she graduates from high school tomorrow. She has a like 30, 30 or 40 points away from a perfect school in her SAT. She's like in the top three in her class. She's actually got a full academic scholarship at the Florida State, and she's actually accepted in the honors program, which is like less than one percent of acceptances. So she's she's a true superstar. Yeah. But I don't put her, you know, any higher as far as how much I love or look up to her than I my other daughter, who's 16, and is nowhere near as accomplished as a student.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:50

But I look at them equally, you know, and that's hard. As you know, it's always hard as a parent to not look like you're favoring one over the other because some of your kids just give you more love, right? Like when you give it to them, they receive it and they throw it back at you. And the other ones aren't as receptive or aren't as reflective. And so you almost have to like do a you have to wear a a happy face, right? Yeah. Like both of them. But it's uh, you know, I I'm I'm not I don't have a problem admitting this. Like, you know, my oldest, it's easier because she makes it easier. Yeah, but I don't make it, I don't have a difference of love. You know, my wife every now and then will say, like, you show more attention to her. And I'm like, no, I actually don't. She just receives more of my attention and that's what you see. You know what I mean? But I don't have a difference in like say how much I love either daughter, or it's the same way with your kids, but yeah, um, for sure, for sure, my my wife is because she's taught me so much about you know becoming a better man and really understanding the importance of spirituality and spiritual evolution. And look, man, I you know, I say this a lot on my like Tuesday night in my private membership community because I have a call, it's called Living in Resonance, and we talk about these kind of things. But in 21, in 2021, Gary Zukoff, you know, who's an amazing spiritual guru writer, you know, wrote a book called Spiritual Partnerships. And he said, and this is obviously during the middle of COVID, so it really resonated, but he said that if you are in a relationship now with a spouse or partner, husband, wife, whatever, um, who isn't committed, the number one commitment in their life isn't to their own spiritual evolution. You're in a relationship that cannot survive the coming change. And again, his coming change, and I think everyone now agrees this, is that we are moving to a higher frequency. And this planet, you know, all the entire planet, because look, Earth is alive. We know that. We know Earth is conscious. So it's like if you're not in a relationship where both spouses, both partners are not committed to evolving their spiritual selves, 100%, it won't survive. And that was so powerful and so prominent to me. And so, you know, ever since. I read that book in 2021. So it's almost now five years, four and a half years. I tell people, and I do this a lot, bro. And you know, me, I'm I'm like you, I'm very authentic and transparent. I don't give a single F, you know, if people don't like what I say. And you know, a lot of people love me for that. And also a lot of people who are frauds hate me. Because again, if you're not serious, you're not, you know, you're not, you're not going to be what I say, uh sincere or whatever. But the truth is that you have to look at that. And if you are in a relationship, and many people are, or where you're committed to raising your frequency and you know, living your highest and best spiritual life, and your other partner isn't, you got to get out. Yeah. Because the partnership cannot coexist if one person is going here and one person is going there. Yeah. And lots of people can't do this. And you know, they'll say, Oh, I can't get divorced because of the money, or you know, so-and-so has got it set up where this, and you know, X provides this and Y provides that. And so it's like we have all the create all these excuses, but it's like again, if everything is energy and everything is frequency, yeah. You can't be with one person who's vibrating here and another person vibrating here. It just doesn't pencil. It not only does it about pencil, but you you create disharmony because your energetic frequencies are so dissimilar.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:13

Would you say, like, if there's I know there's people I'm gonna get like there's gonna be so many awesome comments in the I I can I can tell her if there's if there's someone out there right now that's just like a tired lost man, you know, we've both been there. What what would you say if he's got anything, what what's the first thing he needs to do tomorrow morning? Great question.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:35

So the first thing, I mean, obviously, again, you and I know this, but first thing is physicality, do you have a hormone deficiency? Because if you have a hormone deficiency, nothing that AJ and I have spoken about today is going to do shit for you. Because if you can't actually feel healthy, mind right, dopamine signaling, then you've got to address that issue. And so I always say get your labs done immediately. You know, I can be a shill and I can say, and there's so many, but you know, I have a company that I work with, private MD Labs.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:10

You guys, you you got you got some of the best, you know. I've I've tried all your products. One of the products, it's a totally side note, but dude, it was one of the greatest that uh Shred, whatever, Shred X.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:20

Oh yeah, Shred Max, yeah. Shred Max.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:22

That was that it was I was doing a film and I had to think, and I got, I was like, what is this stuff?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:29

Actually, it is the greatest over-the-counter supplement ever. Sloop or sloop or whatever. Yeah, sloops. That's what it is. It's SLU PP-332, but we call it Shred Max. I sweat like crazy on that. Yeah, dude, it's amazing. But look, man, if you're a 40-year-old guy, a 35-year-old guy, and you feel like absolute dog shit, you got to get your hormones measured. And if you have a testosterone deficiency, hormone deficiency, then you can easily work with a doctor that can put you on either therapeutic testosterone. You can, you know, you could change your lifestyle dramatically, but as you know, the biggest tool in the toolbox is going to be therapeutic testosterone. But that's did you give me? Didn't you you got an injury, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

Back. I remember you talking about easy.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:05

When I was 29, I got kicked in the testicles. Yeah. You know, and that led me on this path of like finding out about therapeutic testosterone. And now I've been on therapeutic testosterone for 26 years.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:14

And it's been a game changer for me. You know, and and I don't know anyone who hasn't, you know, made that change who had a deficiency, a clinical deficiency, who doesn't feel the same way. I mean, I've been writing about that. I've written so many.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

It's like a life force you talk about.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:26

Like a that's I mean, dude, literally, testosterone is our life force energy as males, even for females. Not as much, but yeah, yeah, for both of us. And so if that is off, get that looked at and then work to optimize it. And then from there, be honest with yourself. You know, if you are in a broken relationship where one of you is truly dedicated to living a higher best, a high, you know, I call highest and best. And you really do want to improve every element, every aspect from physical, mind, body, spirit, but your spouse doesn't, then have an intelligent conversation and say, hey, look, how can we separate and go our best so that I can allow you to live the way you want and I can live the way that I want? But literally, again, this is a really tough conversation. A lot of people cannot do this because they've mind brainwashed themselves to change.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:19

Exactly. Or just one person's the provider, yeah, one person raises the kids. But dude, in every single relationship, whoever, whoever, you know, again, who listens to this kind of stuff, who reads that book, again, read the book Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukov, and they change, they make that tough change, their life becomes so much better. And look, this is the truth, and everyone will learn this. And and energy, as you know, you know, quantum physics, you know, quantum entanglement, um, the laws of thermodynamics, none of these can be overcome by anything. It's all, you know, defined science. From entropy comes creation. What I mean by that is is like if you are in a broke so entropy is literally like when you're stuck, right? Yeah. So it's like when you're in a just think of it, the best way to think of it is like you're in a sandbox and both of you are like this. You're at heads with each other. One wants to do one thing the other time, the other one always wants to do something else. One wants to improve their spiritual growth, the other one doesn't give a shit. It's like if you're like that, that's entropy. And when you finally make the change to either get divorced, to separate, or whatever, and each of you is allowed to have new energy come in because now it's broken, right? Yeah. Growth, okay, is what happens. Okay. Creation is what happens when entropy breaks down. And this is again the laws, again, the laws of energetics are thermodynamic. So it's like every time you end a broken relationship, you create space for something new and better to come in. And dude, I have seen this in my own life hundreds of times.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:54

You made me just think of that visual there of like, you know, when you go for a walk in the woods and you see a tree that's fallen over, but another beautiful tree has grown. Sprouting out right behind it. That's crazy, like that's what it I feel like that's exactly it. That dead thing is gone. And you said something earlier too that I was like, that made me think of too. It's like, well, the person is staying, they're providing for it. But if you think about it, what are they providing? Like if they're not providing life and you're in the best of, like you said, your bestest, what was that? How you like your bestest and your highest? If they're not giving you best, yeah. If high they're not providing that, then they're providing nothing. Nothing.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:29

Providing nothing. But that's the problem, AJ, is they're so brainwashed into this cycle of again, and you see it in male and female relationship dynamics. You see the husband usually is the breadwinner, the wife is the child rearer, whatever. It's not always like that, but a lot of times it's like that. And it's fake because it's not true. And and by the way, this is very important for people to understand. And I learned this the hard way in my own mom and dad's family. Again, my parents were Catholic, they had nine kids. Yeah, and as you know, Catholics don't get divorced, it's so bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:01

But what's way worse is watching your parents fight for 40 plus years. Your dad cheat on your mom. I mean, all this nonsense.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:12

And yet you stay together because, again, it's the right thing to do according to the Catholic religion. No, it's not. Like, this is nonsense. Like, what's the right thing to do is when two couples or two partners, man and woman, sometimes it's obviously man and man, woman and woman, whatever, both have a goal of growing together.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:28

100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:29

Mind, body, spirit, right? That is what matters. And again, if you're in not in a partnership like that, it's okay to separate. It not only is it okay, it's best for both individuals to allow again those equal but opposite energies to come in. Again, from from entropy comes creation. So if you disengage with that person, which clearly isn't beneficial for either of you, the likelihood that something better comes in is like 99.9%. And I've seen some people to create it.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:58

I've seen some people too where they've separated, they've fallen in love with themselves again, and they get back together. Like years down the road, they're like, you're the they see themselves that there's the person that I was in love with.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:09

That can happen. That can happen. But you said the key. The key is they worked on themselves separate from the previous relationship. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:17

Well, before we wrap this up, I I always ask this what's a what's a quote that you live by?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:24

A quote that I live by. I mean, I mean, I have so many, but I I think I think the most powerful one is your thoughts become things. If you understand that your thoughts become things, always keep them positive, keep them spiritually elevated, and never ever think in negative terms, right? So it's like, you know, our mind creates our reality. That is a fact. We know that quantum, the quantum, the quantum field is real. And if we know that our thoughts become things and that our mind creates our reality, why would you ever be negative? Why would you ever be a victim? Why would you ever think negative thoughts about people that you work with, etc.? It's just a waste. It's a complete waste of both physical and mental energy.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:12

Yeah. Well, listen, J-Man, I I like unbeknownst to you from afar, and I've just been listening to your stuff. You said stuff like that when I was having a tough time, whatever, and I was like, yeah, and I I would I would it would it would resonate with me about just getting my mind right and stuff like that. So I I just I I think what you've what we've built, and we didn't even get to talk about biolongevity, but we talked about more important things. And and I'm I all that stuff that you've created, I'm such a fan of yours, and you're so well deserved. And I love what you and your wife represent and as two ass kickers out there as couples, a little power couple, and just just like getting in shape and and and just what you're saying out there, man. I I think more there's gotta be more men like you that take these these leadership roles and and and really lead from the front and and and and and hold standard to other men, be like, hey man, like you gotta like you I love the f the thing, the frequency, like you gotta be up here, man. Like you gotta dial it in. We got one shot at this, that's all we got, you know. And it you know, to sort of footnote it like what my dad had said, you pain from regret or pain from discipline. And I remember having my conversation with my dad, he died of pancreatic cancer, and I remember talking, he's like, I don't, I don't he goes, I only regret that I didn't get to spend more time with your mother because I was working so much. That's the only thing. And I was like, so but it's like I would the regret is so much worse. And I think so many gems that you dropped today about just you know, it just make the dis rip the band-aid off, you know. Just m put the put put time into loving yourself. And dude, I hope I hope our our paths cross in in person and we can sit down and and uh and chat, man. I I I really mean it, man. You you you uh you're such you're such a great dude. I I really love what you're doing out there and continued success, and all the best to your wife, and uh um I really appreciate you you coming on my podcast, brother.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:01

Hey J man. First off, I have a lot of love in my heart for you. It's been that way for many years, and I'm really glad that we finally had a chance to break bread here together. I still think I'm not gonna give it out on the podcast, but the 323 number is still the right number.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:13

Yes, sir. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:14

I'll text you after the show. But dude, we definitely got to get together. I come up there or you come down here, vice versa. You definitely go out to dinner with your wife, kids, family, the whole line out of the couple.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:23

It's like a six-hour drive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:25

So it's not a big deal. And I'm up, I'm up in South Carolina now because we have a um a factory. Are you where are you in South Carolina? Charleston. Charleston. Dude, that's exactly where our factory is. So I I can come up there and see you 100%. Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:37

So I will very soon. I will I will have you over for dinner, man. It was so great to connect, man. Um, and congratulations to your daughter and uh continued success to you and your family, brother. Much love. That's the way I love podcasting, man. I just love this. You just don't know where it's gonna go. You have no idea. And when you connect with someone like Jay, we're just firing back and forth. I had written a bunch of questions and did my homework and was all prepared, and I didn't even go into one. We just connected, and you really realize the more the the I really realize the more in life that I open myself up to being open about struggling and just trying to figure it out. I meet other great people along the way that are just trying to put one foot in front of the other, trying to just get through the day and be the best they can and love their family, love their wife, and raise the bar on themselves about being the best person they can be with the time that you are given on this beautiful earth. So I want to thank Jay again. I I greatly appreciate how open you are. Um, and open you were on on this podcast. You talked about a lot of personal things, and um, I know this is gonna resonate with uh a lot of people at home. So, in the comments, you know, drop something. Let me know what you thought. I loved it. And uh I hope I get to do more. And uh looking forward to uh seeing Jay when he comes up here. Go check out his company, man. Go, he's got an amazing company, Bio Longevity Labs. They have awesome, awesome stuff. I've tried a lot of their product over the years, and it's so worth it. Um, go get your blood work done first. Like you said, that is very important. So much love. Be good to yourself. I will see you on Friday for Unfiltered Friday with Sean. And I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, Sean has bought a little Hulcomania. Since we talk about so much W, he bought a Hulkamania tank top, and he's got a little blonde mullet that he's gonna he's gonna rip off at the top of the podcast. Yeah, he's already wearing the white tights and the Hulcomania boots. Yeah, I'm just telling you. He just he just mouthed to me. He said, tell everybody to say their prayers and take their vitamins, brother. That's what he just said. He's in character, he's a method. Anyways, much love. Be good yourself. I'll see ya.