SPEAKER_04 0:00

What's up, guys? Before we start the show, I just wanted to ask one little thing. So the force that you guys have shown up to watch and listen the show, however you watch it, YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you uh uh listen or watch this show, I'm so grateful for. Our analytics, our AI program that ran through basically said we have more people watching the show than are subscribed. And all I'm asking, just a little favor for daddy. Could you just go right ahead right now? Wherever you are, if you're driving in your car, wait till you're stopped. If you're on the bus, on a train, or if you're taking a dump, just press subscribe, a little follow, little like, a little share, tell your mama, tell your friends. Really appreciate it. It really helps what we're doing here, and it means the world. It really does. And the more you comment, the more I comment back. That's actually me. You'll know it's me because my my and my uh my words, I can't I'm not good at typing. I can't even good at speaking. Why am I doing a podcast? I don't know. But, anyways, I love you. I appreciate you. Enjoy the show. So trauma, it makes people act, and you can't fault them for it because they've never said been through it. But it what happens to everybody is they're like, let's just push it down and pretend it didn't happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Essentially what happened was, and like, because it will just I've actually never like told this story publicly at all, but it it it explains the story. So I was like at when I was 16, I was at an after party and it was the first time I had blacked out.

SPEAKER_04 1:21

You know, we've all heard it before when someone wants to chase their dream, how much they talk about it. But it takes a lot for somebody to actually get up and go do it. And when you go chase your dream, I'm a big believer, you can't have a backup plan because backup plans become the actual plan because when it gets tough, you're like, eh, I'll just go do what I had in the back pocket. In order to chase your dreams, you really have to dig deep. My next guest, Mary O'Neill, is everything about grit, tenacity, and not giving up. She was born in Australia, worked every job under the sun, went to California, worked at the hostel. I I've seen that hostel before, and there's a lot of cockroaches there. Has been all over the place, all over the world, found herself in Nashville, has done some of the greatest interviews in country music. She has a show called The Country Outdoors on the Outdoor Channel. It's a great show. I met them on a pheasant hunt. This woman has got the Turkey Grand Slam three years in a row. She's hunted a black bear. She's done more in the hunting space than I've ever done, which doesn't say a lot, but it's pretty inspiring. Her story today that you're about to hear is riveting. It is a story of true grit, true survival, and taking an event in your life and turning it into such a bigger life mission. I'm so honored to call her a friend, a dear, dear friend, someone that has helped me along my way in the podcasting space on my journey back to God. Just someone that's been there for you. Both her and her husband, I love dearly, and it's such an honor to have her on the show. So please welcome to the big warm welcome to the amazing Mary Anna.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Welcome to the AJ Buckley Show, don't you know? He's totally kidding, unless you're serious. Let's get to live. Welcome to the AJ Buckley.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

I'm glad you're finally here on the show. Yeah. This has been a long time coming.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

You've been uh a uh a coach from afar for so long. I remember when we first came out when we were doing like the two fake sales thing. It was the night before we went in. You're like, oh, you have to do like an origin story. You have to like tell the audience like what they're doing. And then we did that, and it, you know, um it just helped give context to what the story that I that I was that I was telling. And then I've taken that now from the many renditions and you know, false starts and stuff that I I've had with the with the show, which I finally feel like I'm in my stride.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

Um, and and and and taken that what you'd said and applied it to each one to sort of give context to what that is. So I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Oh well, podcasting is so different to obviously like performing, like performing, acting, or any of that, and like so much of it is just finding your audience and then figuring out how to relate to your audience.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Um, and I'm still like we just passed the 100th episode and I'm still trying to figure that out.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

Has it done a hundred episodes?

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Yeah. This last week was my hundredth episode.

SPEAKER_04 4:40

So did you realize when you were doing it it was a hundredth episode?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

I did, so I did it as a solo. So, like, you know how you do a solo every week?

SPEAKER_05 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

I really haven't done that many, and I need to do more of them.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

We have a blast.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Yeah, yeah. I I need to do more of them because I feel like my audience probably doesn't actually know me as well. And maybe some of that's been strategic because I've been such a private person. There's been things that I'm like, you know, I feel like you really have to open yourself up when you become a podcaster, and like you see, like on your show or like on Theo's, like crying and like sharing like your deepest, darkest secrets. There's been things that I just haven't been ready to do that for, I think, yet. So I've always focused on the other person. Um, but yeah, we just we just got to 100, which is just crazy.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

So well, congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

Sleep is non-negotiable. Better days, better recovery. Go to ghostbed.com forward slash buckley at the checkout, put buckley B-U-C-K-L-E-Y for the code word. Get yourself a discount. And I'm telling you, the better days are ahead, better sleep, better everything. You're gonna wake up in the morning with a big old smile on your face because you slept through the night. Three pillars of discipline spirit, mind, body, in that order. That right there is the foundation of a company I started called Born of Discipline. It's incredibly important to me. This company incorporates my faith, the lessons I learned from my father on discipline, pain from regret, or pain from discipline is something my dad always said to me. And I've incorporated that into my life, and I want to share it with you. Go check it out at bornofdiscipline.com. Get your merch. It's it's great stuff. Go get it now. Get it while it's good. I did need to mention that you are the very first woman on our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

No way.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Yeah, we know we're like, we need to get some women on our podcast. We haven't. And it's not that I I haven't been like, oh, it'd be like well, I don't find women interesting. I'm not talking. Yeah, we just it just has hasn't like come across. And then when when you I knew you were gonna come, I'm like, we got our first lady on the show. So you are the you will forever be the first on the show.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

I love it. Um, so serendipitous that I'm Irish Catholic too. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

That's that's a perfect. It's a perfect thing. So take me from I mean, it's obviously you're from Australia.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

Um, but take me, like, how do you how does a girl from Australia end up in Nashville being one of the very first, you know, uh podcasters in America, one of the very first Australian uh um on the red carpet at the CMTs? You know, like you you've you've really done some groundbreaking stuff, but it's is this the path that you always thought you wanted to be on, or or like where did where did it all begin?

SPEAKER_02 7:32

So um it's kind of like one of those cliche stories, but like I was always that kid that was always performing from like when I was in preschool um and you know played every instrument growing up, played the trombone, the guitar, all of that was in every theater acting, production, all of that in high school. Um I stopped doing a lot of it when I got to like 16 because it wasn't cool and I was getting bullied a lot for it and like playing the guitar and all of that too, which now it's like one of those things where you're like, those little shits like I hate kids that bully other kids for being unique and not being cool because those things, those, those skills that they're trying to learn end up being way cooler than whatever the hell it is you're gonna end up doing.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

Most of most of the bullies peaked way too early, and you go back to like your high school reunion or wherever it is that you go back to see them, and you're like, they'll introduce themselves to you, and you're like, ho ho ho ho ho man. I'm so sorry. Like you peaked like at 12. Yeah you had a beard at 12, and you were going out with like a grade nine, yeah, and everyone loved you, and you thought your shit didn't and you stuck me in a locker. But guess what? Karma's a bitch.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

So true. We and we have a thing in Australia called tall poppy syndrome, where it's like it's a pro and a con, but like essentially when somebody starts to get a little taller than the other poppies, everybody cuts them down.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

And the pros to that is like it's kind of that Irish, like dark humor, is like you keep people's skin thick and not too sensitive and all of that. But the other side of it is like it's just it's a hard environment to grow in and to be an entrepreneur in or a creative in. Um, and so when my both my parents were academics, um, and uh very like very much like the first people in their families to get degrees and stuff. Both of them came from pretty humble beginnings, and they, you know, my dad was born in 1942 and my mom was a boomer. And so for them, like it was so important education to get a degree and all of that. And I always wanted to do acting, but they were like, you need to get a degree. So I found myself working in a law firm um in my like straight out of school into my early 20s and doing like acting gigs on the side. And essentially what happened was I went backpacking around Mexico and took three months off work and in that period was just living like my freest life and came back um and got on the train going to work. I'm from Sydney, so the train, you know, public transport. And I looked around and um it was a Monday morning and everybody was like suicidal, just looked like they'd been binge drinking all weekend, hated their lives, pale skin, like on the you know, groundhog day grind. And I just said, I'm not doing that with my life anymore. And I went in and I quit that day. And I came home, and mum and dad are like, okay, well, if you really want to pursue acting, then you actually need to learn the craft. Like, don't just go and be one of those half-ass actors. And so I went and enrolled in the Conservatory of Acting at the New York Film Academy and I moved state. So I moved to Queensland, Australia, uh, where the Warner Brothers movie studios lot is. And um, the the uh Academy was on the back lot there. And so that was a really cool experience. It was an intensive six days a week for a year studying method acting, acting for film lighting, all of that stuff, um, and really like learning the craft. My coach Peter Kent gave me the best advice that anybody, like I was so lucky to get this advice then because you know, it we live in like a culture where everybody looks the same and wants to be the same, and we're not um being individual and unique is like becoming a rarer thing. And he uh said, Mary, like the there's a million girls out there trying to be the next Angelina Jolly, the next Brad Pitt, the next, it's not not girls, um, Scarlett Johansson. You need to figure out uh who Mary O'Neill is, what you have to offer the world, what your talents are, and be the best version of that. And so that was like that stuck with me from then, and that was really helpful for me. I think after that, I went on The Bachelor in Australia, got a bunch of press.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

How was how was the bachelor in Australia?

SPEAKER_02 11:48

So I was the very first actor to be put in. So I was actually, they knew I was an actor.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

And I was um put in to be the first worldwide intruder. And um, yeah, so I was brought in halfway through to stir the pot up. So essentially what had happened was um they know, like they, it's so interesting because I just had, you know, the Southern Charm guys on my show and whatever. And um, I like my girlfriend, one of my one of the other girls who who was there, her and I one night went for a little snoop around this house. And essentially it's like a million-dollar mansion. So you're like locked in on this mansion on the harbor. You can't have a newspaper, you can't have a phone, no contact with the outside world, and you're living, breathing, and shitting. This guy who's like mediocre at best, but becomes a king because of this environment.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

And like total misogynistic setup, right? Because he's dating 25 girls and you're like, oh, he's the best, and it's so backward the whole thing. But anyway, um, thankfully, I was there just to really try and get enough press to move to LA. Um, but the other girl who was an actress, her and I went in, and one night we like snuck around and found the production studio, and they had a storyboard of like start to end how this was gonna go. They already knew like week one who the winner was.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 13:12

And they build out this arc on like, okay, this girl's crazy as batshit. Yeah, so she's gonna stay until this long, but she can't stay after that because the then the audience won't believe in him. And they build this whole, like, it's so interesting how they do it.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

There's so many dreams have just been crushed. I got roped into The Bachelor be when my wife was pregnant, and we would just watch mindless. Yeah. And at first I was like, this is stupid. Like, why are we watching this? I can't believe we're watching this, and then it'd be come up to the finale, and I'd be like, Oh my god, I can't believe this happened. Yeah, he chose Jackie.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Well, half of the girls that are in there are genuinely in there to find love, and then half of them are in there to push something that they've got going in their personal life.

SPEAKER_04 13:51

I I think anybody that goes on the batcher searching for love is a little crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

They're a little it's crazy, but like the girl in my season, she was genuinely like from small town in Victoria, and like it was she was she was such a sweet girl, and he did her so wrong. Her dad had died like two years before, and she said to him, Don't ask for my hand in marriage unless you actually really want it. And he proposed to her in South Africa, like most beautiful romantic setting, yada yada, yada. And by the time it had aired, um, they were already broken up. So, like that night they go back, cameras off, and he like wouldn't touch her, nothing. And then after that, started hitting on like the runner-up and then the third runner-up. And so by the time the uh engagement had aired, they were like, she was already like, hate this guy. Um, and he became like Australia's most hated man. And I'm pretty sure, like, I'm not the, in my personal opinion, I don't know. I actually think the guy, like there was very much rumors going around that he was gay. And so, and and partially because there were some kind of interesting photos that went around about him in cross-dress, and then also he owns a male strip club, which I don't care if you are gay, but I don't know any straight guys that would own a male strip club.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

No, I mean Channing Tatum.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Oh, does he ever have a male strip club?

SPEAKER_04 15:12

He's got a Broadway show called Magic Mike, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

But that's a Broadway show. And I don't care if you were gay, I've got plenty of gay friends, but like it was it was an interesting thing because like he didn't touch her that night, could have, and then ended up going with the girl that was like very Susie homemaker. And I think it was very much like to keep up with the appearances anyway. It was a very strange setup, the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

So, did you get voted off?

SPEAKER_02 15:36

So I did six runner up. Yeah. Six from so I made it pretty fast. I was in there.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

You mean first your last?

SPEAKER_02 15:42

If you ain't first or last, thank goodness I wasn't because this guy was such a tool bag as well. When it airs, it's you know how there's like the she walks down the road and then meets him at the driveway. So they did that for my arrival. Um, and I was the first of six intruders, and the girls all thought that like there was a big surprise, and it turns out I was the surprise, then they they were not happy about it. Um, but he says to me, Hi, like what do you do with yourself? And I was like, Um, I'm an actor and in my spare time, I love to play rugby, and I've got a motorbum, like my family have a farm and we ride motorbum box and all of this. And it cuts to him and he's like, She's a really gorgeous girl, but she's into really blokey things. My brothers were like, What a dick! Yeah, so anyway, I was like, I thought it's cool that I do that stuff, like I can I can hang, but anyway. Um, so yeah, that was, I mean, that was really to get me enough PR so I could move to LA.

SPEAKER_04 16:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Um, and so what year was that? That was 2013.

SPEAKER_04 16:49

We feel the clock ticking, don't we? It's almost summertime, which means pool parties, beach, all of the madness. You've taken the foot off of gas a little bit because you haven't had to rip the shirt off in front of anybody. Right? You don't want to be the dad in the neighborhood that's goddamn no titties. No, no, no. You want to be jacked. So, what I would recommend is you go see my friends at PRX. Now, as a listener of the AJ Buckley show, get a little gift. If you go to aj.prx.co, you get 50% off your labs out of the gates. They'll dial you in, they know everything about hormone replacement, all the stuff just in time for summer for you to get absolutely shredded. Go to aj.prx.co, get your beach body on for daddy. If you get a truck or you do off-roading, do any sort of add-ons to some sort of pavement princess that you might have. I highly recommend going to Total Off-Road. I go to the one here in Charleston and I go see Dan and TJ and the rest of the crew there. They are the best people in the world to do anything, any modifications, any build on your four-wheeler that you have. We all work really hard for our money, and what we want at the end of the day is quality service. It's a huge honor to have them, one of the sponsors of the show. I'm forever grateful for all the work that they do. Go check out Total Off-Road. They are all across the country. Anything to do with off-roading, those are your guys.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Then I did, and I moved to LA and I was working in a hostel off of Sunset Boulevard.

SPEAKER_04 18:22

Which one?

SPEAKER_02 18:23

Oh gosh, what was it called? It's like Hollywood Hostel or something.

SPEAKER_04 18:25

Oh, yeah, the one near Mel's Diner. Yeah, oh yeah. I know exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

A real shithole. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:30

Yeah, yeah. Those are all shithes.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Such a shithole. Yeah. And I was like, would clean toilets and then go out for auditions. Um, and I was staying in like I I really thought I had made it when I graduated into like the hostel apartment, thinking like I'm gonna be able to like sleep somewhere decent.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

And I get up there and it's like full of cockroaches and it's way worse than the actual hostel was because the hostel gets cleaned every day.

SPEAKER_04 18:53

That this I think I I I think I've actually been to that hostel because I would have actor friends that would come and visit. Probably. And they would stay at the hostel for, you know. Um, and I would go there. And it seemed like a cool concept at the beginning, but there's just no, like you're like it's a good way if you're broke.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Like that was I was broke, and um, so you don't have to pay for your board, yeah, but you're literally you spend the first half of the day from like seven till two cleaning, yeah, and then you're exhausted, and then you're going out and for an audition in the afternoon, and then you go to work like a bar job or something like that, so that you actually have cash in your pocket. So it was so ex it was terrible, honestly. And you're in Hollywood, which is now like I remember being a little kid visiting Hollywood, and it was so cool, and now it is just the cesspool of all drugs, so gross, it's so sad what's happened.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

I'm not like totally taking a shit on LA, but I'm gonna take a good one. Uh, it was a uh it was such a fun city, and there was as big of a city or as you felt some sort of safety, um, and there was it's hard to explain, there was just some magic about it. Yeah, and I don't know if that's like a kid, you know, where you uh you grow up and you start to realize certain things are real and certain things aren't, and the and the the the spell is broken. But when I saw what this like Los Angeles itself, um not so much the business, but the the city and the price of everything and then the taxes, and you're like, what am I getting? Why am I here? And it just became everyone was so angry, like even like to the point where for years and years and years, I would have neighbors, and it like if you said good morning to someone in Los Angeles, they jump across the street, like, oh my god, what do you what do you want from me? They're terrified of you. When I moved to South Carolina, people are like, hey, they're at your door and they're like, Hey, I brought you some cookies. It's like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

I will say this, and this is gonna be controversial. Um, but the worst the worst racism I ever experienced was in LA. And it was, yeah, because uh they everybody hates each other, as opposed to like, oh, people say down in the south the blacks and the whites hate each other. Up there, it was like I literally the Latinos hate the hate the Asians, the Asians hate the blacks, the white hates the white, and you don't feel safe anywhere. And like I from living in Hollywood, this is somebody who was slumming it, living in Hollywood. A guy was like, there were shoot-ups on my street, everything.

SPEAKER_05 21:32

Every time I'd walk out of there, I'd feel like throw another shrimp on the Barbie, well, don't you? That's all we need is another huge Jackman. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

I literally never felt safe there. It's so funny. I had a skit that I'd run on Hollywood Boulevard with a with my friend of I don't know what we were delayed, delirious lot, lost croc girls. We caught ourselves, and it was just we would we the skit was that uh we'd hopped on the wrong plane, we're To be going to a country music festival in Australia, and we got on the wrong plane and we landed in LA. And so, you know how like all the minions and stuff are all walking around?

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Well, mine was I had this inflatable crocodile, and I kept asking anybody how you could get back to Sydney and where's Keith Urban?

SPEAKER_04 22:14

You would you would literally be filming this while Oh, yeah, on our phones and stuff back then.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

I've still got the footage, it's hilarious. And this minion guy, this minion guy, I've still got the video. So this little dude in the minion, and he was like, take me with you.

SPEAKER_04 22:28

So, how did it segue then from good because country music was that always a part of your life? Um because in in Ireland, country music is mass is massive. And I think it it has to do with like Irish songs, Irish folk songs, especially. There's there's a real they're telling a real story. That's why I love it so much. There's real history and very rich stories. And I feel like good American country are just there's such great you go, you know, there's a dog, there's a truck, a beer, heartbreak, you know, there's something. Um there's somewhere in every song, there's some sort of thing. Same with in Ireland, there's some type of, you know, has to say the battle or the fight or you know, God or whatever it is. But uh for what point when did you discover country music?

SPEAKER_02 23:09

So for firstly, like my family, so I'm one of essentially nine. I was one of five, and then my sister moved back in with her two kids, and so I grew up in a household of five of nine. Uh, music was always like my family, uh like we sit around, drink, and play music and sing. And like it's whether it's Bohemian Rhapsody or Elton John or Akadaka, ACDC, like my family were just like that's what we do. Big Irish Catholic family singing music, having a having a banter. And so music was always a huge part of my life. What was funny was I didn't know where the love of the country music came from until my dad died. Um, and I found all his old records and he had all these Johnny Cash and Elvis records and stuff like that. And um, so I think I got the love of country and love of country music from my dad.

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Was that just sort of a way to listen, like hear what he would listen to?

SPEAKER_02 24:02

I think it must have been when I was younger. And then and then like my dad bought our farm when I was three years old, and so we'd spend the week at the house in the beach, and then we'd go to the farm every weekend.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Where was the farm?

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Uh, two and a half hours out of Sydney in a little town called Crookwell, and it's like still to this day, there's no cell surface at the farm, it's dirt roads. Um, and it's like when I go home, it's there's a smell of the air down there that I can't compare to anywhere else. It's kind of reminds me of you know the Ed Sheeran song Um Oh, Take Me Back.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Like that. It's like to through the through the country roads and all of that. Like that, that's my farm. It's like the same smell since I was a kid, the same Kookaburra singing. There's like just the same sound, smells, everything, and like still a landline.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Um, and so I like grew up with like the country being such a huge part. And like there's there's older artists in Australia that I my family always listened to, which is like Banjo Patterson's a is a poet, and then Slim Dusty. And so very Australian country music artists that would speak a lot about the land, a lot about people, a lot about love of the country.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

And um, so yeah, and so when I and so when I I think when I was a teenager, I started to listen to like the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain and all of that, and then um, but always listened to so much music. And then that grew when I got a boyfriend who was from the country and I started listening to more popular country through him. Um, and I didn't really have an intention to get into country music at all, but I was in LA and was just struggling. Like I couldn't, it was like I used to play before I moved to LA that song The City of Angels by uh Jared Loto or sorry at 30 Seconds to Mars. And like I had in my head like that it was gonna be this thing, and it was gonna be like so epic when I got there, and like all my dreams were gonna come true, and it was truly like the darkest experience.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

LA is is uh I can't I mean I I went there at such a young age, I was 17. I think I had my 18th birthday there. But the fact that I mean it was a different time for the fact that my parents actually were like you can stay here. I mean, I had some you know people on the ground there, but still it I had no clue. There's no world where I would ever send my daughter, yeah, even my sons, to Los Angeles now. It is a care and it sucks the life out of it. It's and it it it literally gladly sucks the life out of it. It's just like you just see and then I'll go back. There's some people that are still there and they're they've found their way.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

If you've got money from from the get-go, your experience is completely different.

SPEAKER_04 26:46

Yeah, if you can survive the amount of taxes, because you you don't make any money living. Like even the amount of money that I paid in taxes when we did SEAL team there, if it was done in any other state, it'd be a completely different store. It's just they just it just it's become such a uh a state that you're like, oh God. So how do you survive? And it it has it has such like Angelinos are great people, like the original Angelinos are great people that love Los Angeles and love California. And it just got, you know, it's just shitty. It just it just if you want to like learn how to take a beautiful steak, which I think is like one of the fourth biggest economies. California's one of the at the time was one of the fourth big economies in the world, I think. Sean, can you to fact check how big what California is on that? What is that stat?

SPEAKER_02 27:42

I just remember Sean is our fat guy. Yeah, we all need a fat guy. I mean, I grew up like my family's favorite movies were Stand By Me and Mosquito Coast and all of that stuff. And so, like, for me, it was like I had this like idea in my head of like following giants that I loved and like I I was going to do it, and it was just like such a it was so shocking to me when I got there and was living there at how much of a hellhole it was for me. Oh yeah, and because it wasn't what I I knew it was gonna be hard, but I didn't know it was gonna take my soul.

SPEAKER_06 28:19

Yeah, so California is the fourth largest economy in the world.

SPEAKER_04 28:22

In the world, yeah. That that's insane.

SPEAKER_06 28:24

That was like in 2005 as well, like it's still the fourth largest.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

So well, I think it's I think it's probably changed because all these big companies now are like pulling out of California because of Gavin Newsom.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

Um uh and his brilliant if there's if there ever was a character that like uh you know looks like the the the guy from American Psycho, you know, the Christian Bale's character, it's Gavin Newsom. I'm sure he's a lovely thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Which I think like the Spencer Pratt thing is so cool. Honestly, I'm so for it.

SPEAKER_04 28:54

I hope Spencer Pratt does it, you know. I mean, I just to see, you know, again, not to go politics or anything, but to see like I've got m multiple friends that have lost everything. Yeah, like everything, everything, yeah. And there's and they were they were pay, you know, top tier.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

It's not politics, this is humanity.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

Like that's the thing, and they're doing nothing. Yeah, put it like a fundraiser where they raised all this money for these people. He stole the money, and there's no no no it's no one's got any. No one's got any money. They're like, uh, and these are people that you like probably voted for them and like they're just kicked to the curb. So and it's like, and if so, if the people that have money aren't getting anything back, then what are the people that are were barely hanging on that like the little money that they have to finally save up for a house and get it is now gone.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Have you seen those videos? I saw one the other day. It's like when they go around Skid Row and all of that, and they just like video everybody just like standing there in these methed out, like zombie states. Yeah, like it's so sad. And the reason like that happens is because people are pushed to desperation, they can't afford to live, so they get into drugs and stuff like that because they're depressed.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Um, which kind of leads to like what happened with me, honestly. So I was um, I'd been there for like I really didn't wasn't there very long. I was there for three months and I was working in the hostel, going out for auditions and bartending for this dude who was a, I think he was a drug dealer, and I was working for tips, and he'd never give me the tips, and then he'd text me at like 3 a.m. and be like, come and get your tips. And so I never would go and get them. And so I'd just show up again and be like, Hey, can I get my tips? And he'd be like, Oh yeah, I'll give them to you at the end of your shift.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

And then again, you'd get them at the 3 a.m. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

And then again, I'd get the 3 a.m. thing. And so like I never got my tips because this guy was just a sleaze bag and he could have ended up trafficking me or something like that, honestly. Um, but the catalyst of like me leaving was, and I was already sensing, and at the time I wasn't as like deep into my like I hadn't been saved, but I was raised a Catholic and I had refound God um and my spirituality. And so my discernment was starting to like, I was starting to feel it. I didn't really know what it was though. Um, but I could feel this doesn't feel right for me here. Um and I was walking down Sunset Boulevard with another actor friend of mine, and there was like a junkie and his junkie friend, and they were ble one of them was bleeding out the back of their head, and the junkie is yelling, help, help, he needs help. And I said to my friend, we got to go help him. And he said, Mary, it's let it be somebody else's problem. And I turned to him and said, It's always someone else's problem. He's still somebody's kid. And um, I didn't have a phone on me at the time. And so I run up and I'm like trying to stop people and say, Can I borrow your phone so I can call the police? I'm like, this guy's like bleeding out the back of his head. I don't know if he'd been shot or hit with a rock or what. And no one would stop and give me their phone. There was literally a guy running and he had his like phone in his hand, and I said, Can you please, can I please call 911? And he goes, Oh, sorry, I've got to like and like fake ran off. And it took me an hour to stop anybody, and I ended up flagging these two dudes down on the street, and they called the cops in the ambulance, and they came and they got my story and literally like patched the guy up on the side of the road and sent me on my way. And I got back to the shitty apartment. I'm lying in my bunk bed with cockroaches crawling all over me. And I just started reflecting on like that whole experience. And I was like, why didn't they get sent to the hospital?

unknown 32:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Like, because they're just like a tax liability, they're gonna die anyway, etc. And like it just I just remember feeling you're gonna have to sacrifice something to have success in this town and you can have it, but are you willing to do that? And it was like, I very much know that was now with the Holy Spirit telling me, literally, you're gonna have to sit like sacrifice your soul. Like, and maybe that doesn't happen for everybody, but I could feel that's what I was gonna have to do to stay here and have success. And I knew I wasn't willing to do that.

SPEAKER_04 33:11

There's there's definitely like you can there's you can put yourself in situations in any business, right? Yeah, but in the business that I know, Hollywood, you can put yourself in situations where whatever that you know, come get your tips at 3 a.m., however you want to metaphorically put it, you know, that's that's very much there. It's a it's an under sort of the underbelly, yeah, and it's this very dark, dark side. And I know it exists wherever there's money, this exists, and whatever there's sort of a power structure.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

A young, good-looking 25-year-old girl, yeah, foreign, has no way to make money. Like, I was the perfect target and I was in a very vulnerable position. And and I knew that. And I knew that like this isn't a good place for me, and I I can have success here, but what am I willing to do that for? And you know, if I went back today, obviously that would be completely different because I wouldn't be living in Hollywood, you know, trying to scrap together food. But like for me, that was a big part of my spiritual discernment too, and and really what led me to Nashville.

SPEAKER_04 34:20

And so I had uh it was Zach, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:23

I didn't know Zach at the time.

SPEAKER_04 34:24

But it must have been Zach. It was his it was his musk.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Yeah, I could just smell him.

SPEAKER_04 34:29

You could smell it, you were downwind from Zach, like that carabooba man. Like I'm smelling, I'm smelling some man stuff. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Um yeah, I had like 500 bucks left in my bank account, and I was like, okay, I either tuck my tail between my legs and go back to Sydney or um figure something out, and like something just kept saying go back to Nashville. And so I'd already been to Nashville for CMA Fest and like fell in love with the city. And um, I decided to change my flight and not go back to Sydney and go down to Nashville. And I literally had like a couple hundred bucks and no car, nothing. And I landed and um I found a friend's place, like somebody who I'd I'd met from Australia who was working for a band and said, Can I crash on your couch and you know, figure out what's going on with this city? And it's so funny now because like I know the city so well that like I would never go anywhere without a car in Nashville. But I was like such an oblivious Australian that I was like walking everywhere and I was so broke. And I remember it was like a hundred degrees, and I had walked into this cafe in 12th South, and I asked this girl for directions, and she said, Uh, here's where you go. And I start walking away and she said, Hold on a second. And she turned and she filled up a jam jar full of water and gave it to me and said, It's really hot outside, take this. And it was just like the polar opposite experience from what I had had in Nashville, where I felt like there's something here. In sorry, in LA, and I felt like there's something here, and I feel and I want to find out what this is.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

Yeah, I love Nashville.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Same. And like at the time in particular, you know, 10 years ago, it like with any city, it's growing so much, but there's so much opportunity there. And one of the things that was very liberating for me was that like people were very open about their spirituality, which I hadn't found in even in Sydney. Even in Sydney, like uh Sydney can be, Australia can be fairly godless, like honestly. Um, and I know I need that in my life, honestly. And I did when I was a kid, and I kind of drifted, drifted, and then I just like I need I need a higher purpose in my life to be a good functioning human. Um, and I know that now. And so that was uh like something that I loved about Nashville from the beginning, but it was also green and and Hollywood was brown and disgusting and dirty, and um there were so many creatives and so many people. It was like it's very similar to LA, like what LA I thought LA was gonna be, honestly, because people move from all over the country to pursue their dreams in Nashville. Um, and they're all like, you know, doing the same thing, but it was just like the opposite experience. And so essentially what happened was I went eventually went back to Sydney and I had a girlfriend that was working at the time for the country music channel, or for like, you remember how I used to have the MTV, um, MTV like sit-downs like this, like the one up VJ, the VJ interviews. Um, there was a uh she was working for a channel called Channel V, and it was like very much VJ style interviews. And I said to her, Um, if it's gonna take being an actor to live in LA, I just don't think I can do it. But I'm a really good entertainer and I love country music. And if I can find a way to put those together, then I think I can make a career for myself. And she said, What are you gonna do? Like, you want to start interviewing artists in in Australia? And I said, No, I'm gonna go straight back to Nashville. And honestly, like, I think the smartest thing that I did at the time was, and because this was honestly 2016 at this point, I created a website and I would spend all my money paying for a videographer and I would do sit-down interviews like this. Really, they were podcasts at the time. They just people didn't people weren't doing podcasts. Um, they were sit-down interviews like this, and I'd pay for a videographer to film them and edit them, and I'd put them on my my website and I'd just email it around to like anybody, and like I my honey on the railroad.

SPEAKER_04 38:40

Yeah, how did you come up with that name?

SPEAKER_02 38:42

Honestly, it's pretty, pretty pathetic, but um I loved honey whiskey.

SPEAKER_05 38:48

That's not bad.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

I loved honey whiskey. This is like, you know, 25-year-old me. I loved honey whiskey, and I I've always like been seeing the romance, um, romance around railroads, just like for storytelling. And um, so it was like very country music, honey, honey whiskey, and railroads. It's like a that's a country song. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:10

Is it a is it an actual country song?

SPEAKER_02 39:12

No, but it's like it pretty much is, you know. If you could if you could, it's like railroads and and honey whiskey, like they go pretty hand in hand.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

So then you're immersed in Nashville, and then this you're doing the the the the the interviewing country music. And then how does how does how does it all hunting and all that sort of part of your your life sort of because you it wasn't till it wasn't like you hunted in Australia? No, you didn't start till your mid-20s.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:39

And and so walk me through that.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

So um I did want to get into hunting when I was in Australia, and I had an ex-boyfriend uh who was in the special forces, and he hunted, and I asked him to take me hunting, and he said it wasn't a place for shields. And so he said no bloke wants to hunt with a woman. And so, and funny enough, like Did you tell him to kick rocks? Well, he came sniffing around years later after I had my show with the Outdoor Channel, and I'd like killed the biggest game ever and whatever, and was like a very accomplished hunter by that stage, and so it was very like it was a rewarding time for me because I was able to be like, Yeah, go fuck yourself, screw you, loser.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've killed bigger game than you, pal.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

Well, he was also the like he also didn't want me to move to uh LA and told me I was chasing clouds, so this guy was like a real champion of myself.

SPEAKER_04 40:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta love those people. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Why was I dating such a loser? Like, honestly, and like yeah, I'm terrified for my daughter to start dating men because it's just gonna be you don't even realize how you're being treated, though, until you reflect as you know, a 39-year-old woman now. And like I was so in love with this guy and really thought he loved me too. And then, like, as an adult, I've reflected on the things that he said to me, and I'm like, Whoa, yeah, like no wonder you felt like shit about yourself.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. We've all had those relationships too. I I I had some dingers of relationships that I was just like, I look back, I'm like, what was I thinking? Just like chaos beyond chaos, where you're like, I don't, but it when you're in it, you're like, I've got to make this. I'm in love. This is this. And I didn't grow up around dysfunction. Like I come from a really good family. Like my parents were married for 27, 28 years, and I, you know, like I saw, but for some reason, I would be like, I'm gonna find someone that is so broken, and I'm just gonna stay in it.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

I think the fire and gasoline becomes addictive, honestly. It does because like when the highs, when you're having highs, they're so high, yeah, and then like it's so low, and then you're craving that high again.

SPEAKER_04 41:58

And so I think that's the highs became they then they become very few and far between, and it's just exactly every time you're about to go out and have a good time, it goes to shit.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

Yeah, and you're like, but you're constantly like, but like it was really good. I just need it to get back to that.

SPEAKER_04 42:11

Yeah, I think in church today the guy goes, he's like, you know, when you're going out and and and everyone's like, we're gonna have a good time, we're gonna have a good time, but it's like you don't get the parking, you don't get the thing, and then everyone's sort of waiting for the good time to start because it's so you're so stressed out about that. I had many real relationships where it was uh uh I was waiting. I had a great like two-week honeymoon period, and I was like, uh, this is it, this is the girl I'm gonna marry, and then it just nosedived, and I just I just stuck it out for I don't know what reasons, but it was very painful. But you we alwa you we always find those things. So speaking of finding, because I I've talked with Zach on my podcast, and I don't know how they're they're these are gonna air, but they'll put put some space. So I'd like to hear your rendition of how he slid into your DMs.

SPEAKER_02 42:59

Um he messaged me saying, Is there any good hunting in Australia? And I was living in Nashville. Um because you were you were holding a bow or something like that, or yeah, I was at like Dick's sporting goods with a crossbow, and I just thought it was super cool. Yeah, and like wasn't hunting at the time. I just thought it was cool and thought it would be like a badass photo. And uh I said, Yeah, but uh I'm in Australia and like really truly wasn't interested. Was not interested at all in dating anybody because I was just so focused on trying to like stay in Nashville again. I was so broke. Like I'd fly, I would fly back to Australia every three months, work on reception, bartend, and serve, and fly back again, and all my money was going into filming and producing my interviews. I literally had no money. And like, so I really just adding somebody into that. And I had also just dated a country music artist in Nashville who turned out to be the biggest. Narcissistic nut job. Um, if you want, this is actually a good one. I won't say who it is. He's he's uh he's written quite a few.

SPEAKER_06 44:09

I feel like we gotta say who it is now.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

Yeah. He's written, I'll just say, like one of the songs that he wrote. And he's the kind of guy that would say that we never dated FY. Oh, we weren't dated. We were just like, it was like a cat. I was her flip, I was fleeing. But anyway, we dated the whole time I was back in Australia. I remember I had the CMC Awards and which was our version of the CMAs. And I was interviewing like Kit Moore and Drake White backstage, and it was all semi-live. And by the time I'd finished my interview, I'd look checked my phone and he'd have blown me up about it and being like, oh, better tell those guys to stay away from her, from my girl, and blah, blah, blah, blah. So he was like full clingy dude. Anyway, I get back to Nashville and I didn't want to see him that first night because I'd flown 24 hours. I was so bloated. Yeah. You know, when you fly for that long and you're like, airplane food bloated. I just want to like drink a bunch of water and green tea, sleep, and like feel good when I see you. Well, that was like that. He was like so pissed that I didn't see him that night. Anyway, I end up seeing him the next night, and he's like all love bombing, all of this stuff. So good to have my girl back, blah, blah, blah, blah. He then goes out on tour, and uh I literally like don't hear from him at all. Like, it's like he leaves on the Tuesday, and then it's like no texting, nothing. And I'm like, that's really weird. On the Friday, I go to Whiskey Jam, and he's like standing over there with like behind the little rope area, like singing to music. And I like text him and I'm like, you're a whiskey jam? He then sends me this like abusive message, like, I don't need no girl stalking me or blah blah blah, like this, and checking on my checking on my every moves and all of this stuff. I'm like, I I thought I was your girlfriend, and also I thought you were out of town and whatever, and I just didn't even reply to him. I had just clocked like this guy's a nut job. Anyway, turns out he had like two or three other girlfriends at the same time. So this was my experience prior to Zach. And I really, like I said, wasn't looking for a boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

And so um, Zach was just like super persistent, honestly. He just kept messaging me. He'd send me photos of himself with like hogs that he just shot. And I was like, I didn't think it was a flex.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Like it was like that's a that's a that's a pretty strong.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

He's like, here's me and my hog. He's like, check out my hog. I know, I know like Georgia Boyne. He's like Georgia Rednae. I've got to f I gotta dig back to those original conversations because they're probably so funny, but it's like, here's me and my hog, and I'm like, okay, dude.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

Uh and then eventually get you in a lot of trouble these days if you send a picture, hey, check out my hog. I just said, yeah. Yeah, it's like people, people could really, really like and take that out of context, be like, he sent me a picture of his hog.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Thankfully he didn't do it. It was black and hairy. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

I know exactly.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

Um, and then eventually, like he just ended up like, oh, can I add you on? I think I had no, I didn't have Snapchat. He ends up like getting my cell phone number, and then eventually he says, Can I take you on a date? And he was living in Georgia at the time, and I was like, that's a massive deal for a dude to drive from like Georgia up to take me on a date. Like, what if he's a weirdo? What if he's a stalker? And then this guy's here in this city. And so I was like, Can we FaceTime first? Because I don't want like that pressure. Then we FaceTimed, and I was like, Oh, he's actually pretty nice and whatever. And so I let him come up and visit me, and really like we just connected straight away over production stuff.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

He's gotta get along.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

He was pretty easy, and like he really swooned me. Like, I was spending all my money on filming my interviews, and he was like, Let me film my film your interviews for you. And he had really like, you know, he had Sony A7s or whatever, and I was like spending all my money for something.

SPEAKER_04 48:11

Was he traveling filming at that time then?

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Yeah, he was filming for all the outdoor TV shows, and so he would literally like finish filming like bow fishing in Kentucky and then like drive down to my place and then be like, Can I film an interview for you? And so, like, he really like um yeah, and so he came down and visited me, and we went down to Tinroof on Broadway and kissed and honestly just started dating. And so he took me on my very first turkey hunt. Um, and he said, Do you want to do you wanna come out with me and we'll go to Nebraska? And I was like, that sounds cool. And so we went up to his friend's farm in Nebraska, and him and his friend called in two long beards from like 500 yards over the sand hills. It took like 40 minutes, and it was just like I felt like a little kid, like at Disneyland, because I would never experienced anything like this. And I'm out in like the mountain in the in the sand hills, and I'm like hiding behind rocks, and I can hear these gobbles, and they're getting closer and closer and closer. And I was like, this is so cool, and I'm there with my gun. And then eventually, like this bird literally sticks its head up five yards from my head. Like, that's a really, really close shot. And so I shot this bird, like, and also at home we have brush turkey, which are like tiny little birds, and so I had no idea what a real turkey, like a wild turkey, looked like. And this thing got up close. I was literally nearly shit myself. Like, I was like, holy crap! And then I shot in the head, and that was really cool. And then we went and like took it and cleaned it and ate it and like the whole thing, and then I kept the feathers and did decorations with them, and I just thought this is the coolest thing ever. Like, yeah, how did I not ever know that this was a way of life? And for me, I was just hooked, honestly. Like, it became something, it just became my lifestyle, and because I was like, I grew up with cattle, my family had cattle, but the thing is, like, and this is like you know, I think this is a good thing for people that are anti-hunting or don't really know about it, in particular if you still eat meat. I grew up with my family selling cattle, and once you put those cows on the back of the truck and they go to the abattoir, you don't really know how they die. Well, my dad did work in the abattoirs, and I know how they die, and it's not great. Like it's a very long, slow death to them, and cows are smart and they know, and they're literally being led one by one by one. So, anyway, that is what it is. I still eat meat, I love, I love steaks, all of that. But with hunting, it the responsibility is on the hunter. You have to practice to make sure you make an ethical shot, you take accountability for that. And I just like think that there's something that's really rewarding about that. And then, like when the pandemic hit and stuff like that, being like, especially as a woman, being able to fill my freezer and now being a mom, being able to like show my little girl like we can do this too. I think is like so empowering.

SPEAKER_04 51:12

Yeah, I agree. And there is something about where you go out and kill something and you know, pack it out and do all the things that you do with it, and then have it in like it's very primal. Yeah, and then you're providing for your family, or you know, you your neighbors, even my my neighbors here in South Carolina, like they come back from a hunt, they always are like, Here, have some of this, or like, I made this sausage. And it's and the meat just tastes a hundred times better. Even when I when I um when I was doing SEAL team at Max Terrier, he would always make me like have these sausages and different things from his farm. Yeah, it was some of the best food I ever had. It's like, and it really is like when you can control and know what's you know what you're what you're eating, yeah, and actually what real food tastes like, yeah, you know, it it it it it is a very special thing. And to for to be I'm looking forward to getting better as a hunter to have those experiences with my kids where there's no cell phones, there's no nothing, it's just in nature, camping outdoors. Anytime that we've disconnected as a family and just gone out somewhere, they always are the best trips. And it has nothing to do with like roller coaster parks or anything like this. Like when we're just out in nature and doing hikes, it's so much fun. And it I can see it takes all of us, my wife, my kids, myself, the day, yeah, maybe into the next day to like my brain to like like go into outdoor mode.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

Yeah. Because you're so used to like well, it we've become like so, and I do it myself. Like, I'll go, I'll walk in to go just just sit down and go to the toilet, and I'll reach my phone for a quick scroll. Like it's just we're so addicted to it now.

SPEAKER_04 52:47

Yeah, and it's a good, it's a good thing to break. Now, regarding turkey hunting, what is a a a turkey grand slam?

SPEAKER_02 52:55

So a turkey.

SPEAKER_04 52:58

Four. Hey now. Yeah, yeah. So explain what that is.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

Which I will also say, like, it's a cool thing, but it's also like a very chest thumping ego thing. And now that I've become all about it. Yeah, okay. Now that I'm now that I've like I don't get as much time in the outdoors, I'm less focused on that, and I'm more focused on quality at like camps, but Jason Hart has got one in every so here's it, he has done the um what is it 49? So that's 49 states. Um, the Grand Slam is all for North American species. So that is the Merriam, the Rio, the Eastern, and the Osceola. So for a true Osceola, you need to be in the Everglades, um, South Florida, and Eastern is here where we are right now, um, through to Kentucky, through Alabama, I think Alabama, yeah, and um Mississippi, Tennessee. The Rio is like Texas and like kind of up in that whole area out west. And then the Merriam, like the widest tip Merriam's are Wyoming and Montana. Um, and so you really like start your season. South Florida is the first season that comes in. So you start down there and you kind of work your way across and up. Um, and it is a lot of fun because the birds are all very different. It's a good challenge, and the birds are all very different in each state. The hardest birds to hunt are the easters because there's so much pressure in the southeast. Um, once you get kind of out west, people don't care about turkey hunting as much. They really care about deer. And so the turkeys, the landscape's a bit more challenging because it's mountainous, but the turkeys tend to be a little easier to actually call to and come in. Uh, whereas like down here, like in Mississippi, you call once and like you might never hear from that bird again. Like, honestly, like you might never. And then it's like, do I sit and like sit here for two hours, or like what do I do? Like, it's just really challenging. Um, so yeah, and then the the world slam is all four North American birds, and then the Mexican osseo oscill oscillated, and then the gold, which is one's like New Mexico and one's one's New Mexico and one's Mexico, or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 55:15

There's layers to this game. I had no idea.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's there's six kind of like mi uh North American and like South uh Central American. So yeah. And then Hawaii has I think it's a it's you have you hunted in Hawaii? I haven't, and I really want to.

SPEAKER_04 55:32

I think it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

Yeah, I think it's a is it a Rio? I can't remember. I think it might be a Rio or I think it is anyway. But apparently that's really cool because it's like I think it's in Maui where the hunting is. Oh, I can't be sure, but you hunt the birds and then like it's like near where the volcanoes and stuff are, and then you can like go down to the beach afterwards and whatever, and so it's just and you can pick pig hunt there too. But I just like think that would be so cool to like kick off the spring with a turkey hunting.

SPEAKER_06 55:59

It is a Rio in Hawaii. There they are.

SPEAKER_04 56:01

Yeah, thank you, Sean.

SPEAKER_02 56:02

Thanks, Sean.

SPEAKER_04 56:03

God, was that Jim?

SPEAKER_02 56:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:05

Just pops in. Yeah, um, your favorite animal to hunt or that you've you haven't got yet, but that's on your bucket list. Because I because Zach told us that you got an elk before he did.

SPEAKER_02 56:15

I did, yeah. But it was rifle when he was going to hunt. Yeah, that was definitely the coolest. Come in, yeah, and it was like a world-class bull. And I think honestly, that was God rewarding me for like a terrible birth delivery because I had like a very traumatic um birthing with Molly.

SPEAKER_04 56:34

But um what's your what's on your list?

SPEAKER_02 56:40

I really want to do like a Scotland stag.

SPEAKER_04 56:43

That would be fun, yeah. And I want to do Ireland as well. I that would be a hunt I would definitely love to go on.

SPEAKER_02 56:48

I know we need to get Dubri.

SPEAKER_04 56:49

Yeah, that'd be great. I love their stuff. Yeah, big fan of it.

SPEAKER_02 56:52

We need a hey doobry. If you're listening, we need to like let's do a stag hunt.

SPEAKER_04 56:56

We should do that. We should organize a hunt. Yeah. Um, Sean, we gotta remember this. Dobre.

SPEAKER_02 57:01

Yeah, I just think that would be epic. Remember, we spoke about that. Like, so I'm my family are originally the O'Neills were like the first kings of Ireland, we're from like Galway, etc. Our crest is the bloody hand of Ireland. AJ and I met, and like obviously, like anyone who has Irish heritage, you just kind of connect over that, like, immediately. You just do though, because like the Irish are such survivors. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Morgan. Um, the Irish are just such survivors, and like I think it's just something, you know what? You don't hear as many people like, oh, I'm a proud Englishman because English ruined the world.

SPEAKER_04 57:34

But like people really We love you, English.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

Yeah, love you not. Um but like uh I I think like most people that have Irish lineage are super proud of that because they're just battlers. Um, so yeah, but remember we spoke about like it would be cool if we did something where because you still got connections with your family and Highlands.

SPEAKER_04 57:54

Yeah, all my family's over there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

And then I could do me tracing back that.

SPEAKER_04 57:57

I think that'd be that would be really cool. And then the hunt. We need to we need to uh we need to pitch that.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Highlands hunt. I agree. That would be a really as like a like maybe like a kind of bear grills-y vibe-y.

SPEAKER_04 58:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:07

Do you know what I mean? Like not that, but like that kind of a thing where we're like tracing back and like Yeah, I think there's I think we're onto something.

SPEAKER_04 58:13

I think I think we have to do this. So now with the podcast and everything, all the the stuff that you're involved in.

SPEAKER_02 58:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

Um, you're doing field and stream stuff right now.

SPEAKER_02 58:23

Field and stream. I joined the board of Rahab House. So that's um, so I started working to raise awareness for anti-human trafficking, um, grassroots Christ-centered nonprofits in 2022 with Mo Pitney and Drake White. Um, I formed a group called Artists Against Trafficking, where um myself and other artists, whether they be musicians or painters or actors or um athletes, would come together and put a show on and raise money and awareness for different nonprofits in um Nashville. But since then, Mo Pitney founded a rescue house with his wife, and I just joined the board of that. So yeah, um, so we'll be putting on a big event for that um this year in Nashville in November. Um, so if you're in town and you want to get a ticket for that, just keep your eyes open for that. But that'll be something um, you know, I think that's just so important, um, such an important topic. And um Nashville's got a lot of issues when it comes to that. But the whole, the whole nation does. Um, and I will just add in like I didn't really before I had started working and doing um fundraising in the space, really know what it looked like. But when I learned that human trafficking happens in every area code of the country, and there is no demographic that is safe from it, because I used to think, oh, it's like Liam Nees and Taken, and this only happens to, you know, it's either that Mexico, like like exactly in Taken or something so crazy and foreign, or like, you know, I traveled a lot in Thailand when I was younger and so like that. But it literally happens all over the country, every area uh demographic with the kids, kids today like on their phones and Roblox and all these different games. Like, I would just encourage parents to be so aware of what your kids are consuming because they are like the biggest target for this stuff. Um, having people acting as like fake boyfriends on social media and luring them out. It's just a such a massive crisis that we're facing right now. So um, yeah, I wanted to kind of just make sure I mentioned that because it's huge.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:43

Now, you have a swimwear line that people want to talk about. The drop. Well, you can't you ran into some legal stuff that we can talk about.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

We didn't, well, we didn't really so what happened was we had kind of launched it and then uh I've been working on this swimwear line for six years now. It's all it's um made from sustainable polymides, so poly recycled polymides, which is ocean plastic, um, which is just super cool conservation, very high quality, like luck swim at wearing board shorts. I created my own camouflage pattern, which is inspired by the stripping bark of the kulabar tree. And we got radium.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:25

A coolabar tree? Swimmies made by swimmies out of a coolabar tree. Yeah, do you know what it was for?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:32

We're gonna come out with a budgie and nut hugger, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:34

I was blown away when I was in Australia when um you see a koala and I'm like, oh, they're so cute. And like the guy that we showed them, he's like, Yeah, but they all have chlamydia.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

And they're stoned.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

And I was like, what?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:44

He was like, Yeah, the koalas have uh chlamydia. And I was like, that's a like what so they just how did how how did a koala get call chlamydia?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:54

I mean, that's a good question. There's probably some sicko at the center of all of them.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:59

Yeah, geez, that's uh that's Bob, old Bob's problem. He's just he's the oh, you're a nice koala, aren't you? Come here.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

Oh, you know the vice documentary?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:12

How are you going?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:13

Have you seen the vice documentary on the like the donkeys?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:16

Donkeys have chlamydia too in Australia.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:18

No, but like the vice documentary about like it's like somewhere in South America where there's like because if you start saying that donkey head chlamydia in Australia, I'm like, guys, watch it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

There's there's a there's a connection here.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

That donkeys probably do have chlamydia, but they're not Australia. No, but it no, because we didn't really have donkeys. This is in South America, Central America.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:34

Because they all died in Australia, chlamydia.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:36

Exactly. There is a vice docker. If you haven't seen it, maybe we should watch it tonight because you're gonna be like, but once the kids go to sleep, because it's really sick.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:43

I'll probably see.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:44

So there is uh it's a vice doco, and it's about this town in Central America where all of the men learn how to be good lovers with a donkeys. It's so bad, and you don't think it's gonna happen, and then at the end it happens, and you're like, I cannot, and like to the point that you want to vomit. So it's the worst. I don't know why I watched it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:05

I just I loved I love to look at donkeys in a different light. I just think of like, you know, Christmas and this, you know and that and you know, yeah. It just it just to me now thinking of you know it's bad.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:17

Yeah. This is definitely something you play while you're at the on the airplane. You're in like the middle row, and you're like, hey, you know, I got a whole family around me on the plane. Let's play this.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:27

Or you or play it on your phone with uh you know the people on the plane that would drive me nuts? They don't realize that their headphones aren't sync and it's like playing really like that would be awesome and be like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:39

Chlamydia donkeys.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:40

Yeah, chlamydia donkeys. Um, I mean, it always feels like you know, when you're in it, that there's so much more to be done. But looking at your journey of where you've come, like you've to the outside, people are like, holy shit, like you've been working in a hostel, you've now, you know, family, you get a beautiful daughter, Moll Molly, stuff a husband, Zach, you guys got your own show, you know. You have to be able to stop and be like, okay, like I have because I I'm faulty for that. I'm always like, it's just not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough. I'm constantly, but that's the hustler to me that's always gonna be that way. But it if if you had to chat with the 22-year-old you and and sort of prepare her for this journey that she's about to go on, what would you say to her?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:34

Stop drinking so much.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:36

Fair enough, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:42

I think um like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and I've learned a lot of lessons. But I think uh I drank way too much for way too long. Um and I probably could have you know, God has a plan, so you you always end up where you're meant to be. I I would say stop drinking so much, start having a family earlier. Um, but also like it's the world economy is so hard and so challenging. And so, like, especially when you work for yourself, yeah, you might be doing well this year, but you still have to renew partnerships next year. So, like, you you can't really take a breath and slow down. And that is one of the things that is challenging in this business. You can't just have like one thing going on, you really do have to have several things going on because you have to keep the lights on. Um, and so you only go into this because you love it. Yeah, because it is constant hard work and nobody is gonna show up for you. You have to show up for you. So um, the reason I'd say stop drinking so much is because you've got a lot to lose.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:55

And I probably could have made a couple, I probably could have made a couple of moves a bit quicker had I had on Jack.

unknown 1:06:05

Not on Zach.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

But I remember like I used to, even when I first got to Nashville, I'd go out to like meet with people from like big machine and stuff like that. And I'd be toasted.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:15

And I'd just have like been drinking like what and I was like not big. Like I was just like drinking vodka and orange juice. And like just crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:24

Cause Australia is such a binge drinking culture, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:28

And so like I you know you learn like you do.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:31

And you don't realize how much it affects what you're what you're doing. And then when you look back you're like oh man. Yeah. Like when you look and it and again it's like I always try to prepare myself for like when my kids ask about things I'm like how am I going to approach it? I'm just going to be honest with them about you know my own pitfalls, my own struggles and my battles that I've been through and how I keep myself in check consistently.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:58

But it's also too like the more that I've you know come back to God and have really have leaned into that yeah it's like I can it makes it a lot easier for my own journey with any of my struggles. When I didn't have God in my life I think the struggles were hidden more. And I feel now that I've got God more in my life and I'm a I'm a I'm a work in progress. I'm a flyer but I feel like having God in my life has allowed me to constantly be focusing on you know how do I get this part of my life better? Yeah how do I how do I you know um the withered hand story you know um of of of bearing showing that withered hand of of your your side but you being open about it and being open about your struggles and being open about like you know as long as this is the way I look at it with people whatever your struggle may be in the journey that you're on if your intention is to be better or to to fix it and you're truly trying to do that and we all have pitfalls we all have setbacks but you're really pointing the ship in that direction that's all you can ask. Yeah it's not going to happen overnight. We're human we get we we stumble a lot we fumble the ball yeah you know it's like the greatest players in the world the greatest running backs the greatest quarterbacks have dropped the ball and they fumbled it. But the game continues to go on you have to choose at some point either to remember by your fumbles or to rectify it. There's only so many second chances you get though. Yeah and and I think that bears down we all have friends and I've been been that guy where I was like oh yeah I'm I'm I've got my shit together but then then I'm repeating stupid behavior.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

Yeah I would say as well that I I ran away from facing things that like I'd gone through in particular some like pretty bad things that I went through as a teenager and I come I think that's part of a like a survival survivor's mindset too because you just like have to compartmentalize things so that you can get through things but I would say that like I put things on the back burner for probably too long and um if you don't face your demons they're always going to come back up.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

And so in order to be like a healthy mother parent all of that you just have to at some point face that and I it's really hard you know with any trauma that anybody's gone through but from my personal experience the more that I pushed stuff down the more that it would come back up. And I think that I drank so much because of that. Yeah I think like I I went through a period from honestly like 16 until 25 that like every time I drank I would black out wow and um like every time yeah and that's a good batting reference you're 100% a black guy to the point that like people would be like like I don't want to go out with Mary tonight because I know how it's gonna end type thing. But like that's I think that I think what I figured out with that is like that was me trying to like just yeah just not and the thing is too with trauma it's like there's no trauma to one's person's trauma is is not more than another person's trauma. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:22

There's experience that people have but that's their journey in life and that's the road they don't and and and your individual trauma to what it has affected you in your journey in your life that's yours. You should never be comparing well this person's been through way worse. No no no no like look stop like like deal with your own stuff big or small you know even if it's a bunch of little things that adds up over time. And what I've realized and again it's still a work in progress is you just got to deal with it. You have to face it it's it's there whether you like it or not it's there. And if you try and push it down or you try and ignore it it comes out in other ways.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:59

Well you're doing yourself an injustice as well and then once you have kids you're also doing them an injustice because like so essentially what happened was and like because it will just I've actually never like told this story publicly at all but it it it explains the story. So I was like at when I was 16 I was at an after party and it was the first time I had blacked out and um I was raped and um and I was really heavily bullied afterwards in school um by the girls that had seen it happen because they got into trouble from their parents for being at this after party and um and it was like if you ever watch Stranger Things uh not Stranger Things sorry 13 reasons why that was my experience like it was like so bad. I tried to kill myself several times um my school completely failed me in terms of protecting me and it was a lot of stuff that was just like so dark. And so I once I left school my way of dealing with it was just not dealing with it. And every time I'd go out it was like drink. Yeah and so I only honestly in the and that's a huge part of why I'm involved in anti-trafficking because I think that like the enemy really tries to hurt kids um and and because the Bible says like children are the inheritance of the kingdom and the only time in the Bible that Jesus says that you won't be forgiven is by hurting kids.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:39

I totally agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:40

And so and I I didn't realize that until I really I became a mom and a lot of things started to resurface for me in the last couple years and I realized like I need to understand and forgive what happened to me. And that doesn't mean I forgive and like it's not right what happened to me at all but I need to be able to understand it and forgive myself for the drinking and you know just all these things um so that I can be coherent enough to be aware of God forbid something happened to my child and me not recognize it or me not give her the room to be able to come to me about it. Because my parents really weren't equipped with the tools to know how to deal with that. And um nor should they nor should they because you don't think that's going to happen.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:36

Yeah and that's a that's a heavy that's a heavy load to to for I mean for any for any girl to go through but for any father or mother to it's it's such a and what happens a lot of time is the people just decide not to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:53

That's what and that's what pretty much happened was it was like we didn't we didn't we don't talk about it. And then meanwhile I'm going to school and girls are writing on the back of toilets Mary's a slut and she deserved it. And so and the school knew and the school did nothing to stop those girls from like it was so bad AJ and so um I so then I would go home and we didn't speak about it and I'd go up to my room and I'd try and hurt myself.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:17

Whoa and um yeah it's so sad looking back on it now because it's just like but I'm really just proud of myself of where I'm at because really like more so now look with the journey that you've come on and where you're you're at I mean you know you're you're a fighter you're you know you've got more grit than most people I've met man or woman um and your presence you're a force to be reckoned with in the field that you're in. Not to say like thank God stuff like that happened to you. Yeah. But there's trauma within your life that I think you can turn those things into the fuel that is like I'm going to be a voice I'm gonna be an advocate I'm gonna use my story so that if somebody hears this as a family and by not talking about it they're like actually I'm gonna open up the conversation or I'm gonna take a moment here now and like actually instead of saying I I can't handle I don't know how to deal with it. It's take the the the personalization of of how it's going to affect you as the parent and be like let's be here for the child. Yeah you know because again everybody reacts in a different way even whatever that is if even when someone dies people have a weird reaction they don't know how to so trauma it it makes people act and you can't fault them for it because they've never said been through it but it what happens to everybody is they're like let's just push it down and pretend it didn't happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:41

Well and I think honestly because I've had conversations with my mom as an adult now and like where she honest completely apologized for how she dealt with it and she didn't really need to apologize for like she didn't like she's so forgiven because my mom is just the best and my dad was just the best but it was more that they just I think a big part of it was they didn't want me to have to live with the stigma of it for the rest of my life. So they thought that the best thing to do was to not make it my identity but they didn't know what's what was happening with me at school and it was becoming my identity. And like even I remember like I went out to a party like maybe like a year later it was like one of the first parties I went to and like that guy was there. And so there was just so much stuff like that. But like and teenage teenagers and kids like shame just hits kids in such a different way because they're not used to the conversation about their bodies and sex and all of this stuff and it is so shameful. Yeah. And so you hold on to so much of that and it's just like you can't process it until you're an adult. And so like yeah for me now I think that's a big part of why I got into storytelling and especially over the last couple years with my with the podcast like I want to be that place where people feel like they can yeah it's country outdoors but like you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. And like I had Meg and Patrick talk about you know physical uh domestic violence and stuff like that. And I want people to be able to because we we're all human and this stuff is happening everywhere. It's happening everywhere and like it's happening to way more people than what you think yeah too. And so like it's important to share your story and then also like for you for kids that this happens to for their parents to hear these stories and then for them to feel like they can come forward if something like that has happened to them. Yeah so with your foundation is there a place that someone could go if they hear this and they're they're in a situation and they need help can they reach out so for for Rahab House it is um yeah you can contact Rahab House so if it's a trafficking situation or even just like you're in a day if you're in a dangerous situation please just contact because we've got resources for everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:09

We'll put all the websites and stuff in the show notes.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:11

Yeah and um you can also send me a message on Instagram too. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:17

Awesome well yeah that's a lot that's very heavy and I hate to end on a heavy note but I just want to let you know in a very positive I'm very grateful for you to talk about this on my show. Um and I think what you're doing out there uh you know as a woman and what you represent and and with your faith and with the music industry and the hunting and just everything that both you and your husband do and how much you've been so gracious in my life and teaching me the ropes with the podcast world and have just let me into your world um and and and really have been a guiding light for me. I'm so grateful and appreciative to both you and Zach. And um I I I wouldn't uh have come this thus far if it wasn't for you guys really being like no go out in your own and and and do this and um many ramble calls of chatting of like what what am I doing? And and I've I unfortunately introduced you to two shitty people that I thought were good people. They will go unnamed but they they are such pieces of shit. And um uh I hope whatever cockroach that they are they crawl back under that rock and and uh stay there. It's a whole learning curve yeah but it's a learning curve but um and I didn't know because I didn't know but uh um I appreciate you coming on the show appreciate you you being so open and sharing your story um thank you you're welcome very much that is another episode of the AJ Buckley show what an amazing story that was um thank you for all that listened um anybody that's out there that's going through any sort of think they feel unsafe or they they need to reach out to someone um I'm gonna put all the links in the the show notes um for how to contact Mary and the foundation is called again Rahab House the Rahab House so if you're in a situation and you hear this contact Mary or Rahab House and it'll all be in the show notes. Thank you again don't forget to like subscribe and share thank you so much see you on the next one